postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
The Pug Bus is moving. We'll still be the profane, pot-smoking bastards we always have been, but now you'll have to find us at pugbus.org if you want to waste your time on this sort of shit. We've been at this address for eighteen years. We wish we could say that it was real, but it wasn't, it was fucking satire after all.

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your stinking grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.



Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.



There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.


     
image of iconic screaming person
     
two lions having it off
     
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
     
American Freedm Party
     
burma shave sign with jingle
       
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
           
image of worldwide web on computer screen
   
image of bicyclist
 
image of handicapped parking sticker
     
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
     
fly agaric mushroom


The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our fearless editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the festering evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; his hatred of soccer moms; and a whole lot more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."


Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


The Fuck It List

Ten Things You Should Quit Doing While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling the Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

God Says He Told Ref to Throw Flag at “That Silly High School Kid”
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The Lord God Almighty—King of Kings, Giver of All Gifts, Father of All Fathers, and Keeper of the Most Holy Restroom Key—announced today that He was responsible for the penalty assessed on a high school football player who pointed to the sky, and ostensibly at God, after scoring a touchdown in a game two weeks ago.
Continue ...
Oct 28, 2015 - 11:56


NBA Stars Looking into World Bidet Association
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ST. PAUL, Minn. - Minnesota Timberwolves forward Michael Beasley isn't the only National Basketball Association (NBA) player who turned the wrong cheek when he said he'd considering signing with the World Bidet Association (WBA) recently.
Continue ...
Oct 28, 2011 - 11:09


Chapter 1: Divine Intervention Strikes Twice
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God speaks to me; I speak to my wife; she receives a sign; Cleveland Amory buys us lunch; we acquire our first pug. Did I mention the black Labrador retriever named after a train station?
Continue ...
Feb 21, 2009 - 7:27


Will Smith Denounced by JDL for Saying Hitler Was Probably Human
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LOS ANGELES - Actor, rapper, and Tom Cruise butt buddy Will Smith got royally tarred and feathered by the JDL (Jewish Defense League) for advancing the theory that Adolph Hitler, despite his record, may have been human.
Continue ...
Dec 26, 2007 - 11:00


Jennifer Love Hewitt Launches Fashion Line for Fat Women
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LOS ANGELES - Jennifer Love Hewitt, whose butt has more wrinkles than Mick Jagger's face, announced on her website yesterday that she's launching a new line of clothing for oversize women.
Continue ...
Dec 10, 2007 - 10:18


Lindsay Lohan Panic Attack Update
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MIAMI - Worry turned to disbelief and anger outside a Miami nightclub early this morning when fans of Lindsay Lohan were informed that their idol had been hospitalized not for a panic attack, as they had previously been told, but for admitting to Vanity Fair that she had dabbled in bulimia and drugs.
Continue ...
Jan 7, 2006 - 12:25


Britney Spears Baby Photos Exclusive
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West Chester, Penna. - Sources close to Britney Spears told Postcards from the Pug Bus that the pop star is "devastated" over the release of the first photos of her baby, Sean Preston Spears. Images of the month-old toddler, who bears a killer resemblance to his choreographer father, Kevin Federline Spears, popped up on several websites last week.
Continue ...
Oct 24, 2005 - 9:53


President Bush Offends Visitors with Aristocrats Joke
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President George W.Bush horrified a group of conservative pro-war activists at a private barbeque on his Crawford, Texas, ranch yesterday when he told The Aristocrats joke during a game of horseshoes.
Continue ...
Aug 28, 2005 - 11:07


 

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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