Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Britney Spears, Courtney Love Top Stretch Marks Poll May 9, 2006 - 8:37
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Britney Spears and Courtney Love finished in a virtual dead heat in the Postcards from the Pug Bus First Annual Stretch Marks Poll. After studying the skanky photo on the left, 1,592 voters were asked whether Britney Spears, Katie Holmes, Gwyneth Paltrow, Courtney Love, or Mother Teresa had grown the stretch marks in question.
Ms. Spears (638 votes) and Ms. Love (629 votes) finished in a virtual dead heat, with 40 percent of the votes each. The rest of the field finished far up the stretch. Gwyneth Paltrow drew 12 percent of the votes; Katie Holmes 5 percent; and Mother Teresa a surprising 3 percent.
"I knew it had to be either Britney or Courtney because those underpants looked like they hadn't been washed in a week," said Thom Bigeleau, an office manager from Scotts Bluff, Nebraska. "Ultimately I picked Britney because I read that she's pregnant again and that sure looks like a baby bump to me."
Mattie Groves, a waitress in Hollywood, Florida, faced a similar dilemma, but voted for Courtney Love instead.
"Whoever owns those stretch marks looks like she can't afford a bikini wax," said Ms. Groves. "I know Britney's left herself go recently, but I don't think she'd go that far, so I picked Courtney."
Lewis Canter, official pollster for Postcards from the Pug Bus, admitted that he was surprised at the number of votes garnered by Gwyneth Paltrow (191) and Mother Teresa (48).
"If you know anything about Gwyneth's macrobiotic diet, you'd have to conclude that her female region would never look that moth eaten," said Mr.Canter. "As for Mother Teresa, it's common knowledge that she didn't wear underwear."
According to Mr. Canter, Katie Holmes' low showing (85 votes) "no doubt reflects the suspicion that her pregnancy was a hoax, no matter how much weight she gained or how many ultrasound images Tom Cruise took of her alleged fetus."
In other news, President George W. Bush blames his dismal approval ratings, now at an anorexic 31 percent, on the decline in the circulation of newspapers.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.