Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Local Man Arrested for Stealing His Own Identity Sep 6, 2007 - 11:46
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Li Ming, a graduate assistant in computer science at West Chester University, was arrested and charged with identity theft yesterday after trying to obtain a driver's license under false pretenses.
"It's the damnedest thing I ever heard of," said West Chester chief of police, Brad Furlong.
"Mr. Li visited the department of motor vehicles and applied for a license, using a social security card and a birth certificate as forms of identification. When the clerk processed the documents, she discovered that Mr. Lee already had a valid driver's license—and that he had passed away nine months ago.
When she asked him if he had just been reincarnated or what, he told her he was, indeed, Li Ming. That's when the clerk called for a security guard.
According to Mr. Li, he had faced huge overdue balances on both his Visa and MasterCard, so he devised a scheme to eliminate his debt by faking his death, getting a new driver's license, and applying for new credit cards eventually.
Li then paid a friend, who worked at the Daily Local News in West Chester, to slip an obituary of Li into the classified section of the newspaper. A few months later he applied for a duplicate birth certificate in his own name. Later he used that birth certificate to obtain a social security card, but his scheme blew a tire when he visited the department of motor vehicles.
Apparently Mr. Li thought that because his name is among the most common in China, where 50 percent of all families have one of nine surnames, it was safe to apply for a new identity using his old name.
"That certainly made his 'new' name easy to remember," said Chief Furlong. "I guess you could say that his was a case of mistaken identity theft."
Mr. Li, who was released on his own recognizance, had been reprimanded by university officials last year when he was caught downloading and uploading mp3 files to himself, despite a university-wide prohibition against file sharing.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.