Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Hillary Clinton blames her election loss on white supremacy
ex-Prince Harry and Whatsherface desperately seeking a nickname
Microsoft introduces new anal font "for assholes with something on their minds"
White women can't jump, either
Ashli Babbitt proved that . . . "bang, you're dead"
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

Home   Ass Hats   Celebrities   Music   U.S. News   World   Religion   Sports   Technology   Weed   Us  

The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
burma shave sign with jingle
        
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
image
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Ganjascope℠ Wins Consumer Reports® Endorsement
        Sep 10, 2019 - 6:06
       
an image
Unlike most pot-related horoscopes, which aren't worth the pixels they're printed on, the Ganjascope℠ was chosen recently by Consumer Reports® as "the most virtually accurate" of the major marijuana horoscopes. "The standard error of measure for the Ganjascope© smoked those of High Times, the Reader's Digest, and the Kiplinger Newsletter," wrote Consumer Reports® astrology editor, Winston Barnes.

Virgo (8/23–9/22): The Ample and All-Majestic Spirit (who put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop) jumps the medial strip while driving under several influences and collides with the Mother of All Cosmic Forces (who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dang). The fallout from this celestial encounter could have grave consequences for your life and your stash, not to mention your front lawn.

Libra (9/23–10/23): Smoking oregano for medicinal purposes runs you afoul of the DEA, which contends that oregano is a gateway drug whose use invariably leads to an addiction to pizza, raw pasta dough, and—worse yet—to a catatonic state known as Rigor Morris, which you can catch from your cat, Hindsight, who is better than no sight at all.

Scorpio (10/24–11/21): After smoking way too much Bio Jesus, you dream you are on a cruise ship that strays into the Bermuda Triangle and is boarded by fast-talking pirates with irritating cockney accents who follow you around trying to sell you shoddy home-care products. Historically these dream figures have foretold the inheritance of great wealth or a debilitating degenerative disease.

Sagittarius (11/22–12/21): Your tendency to go over the top when you're stoned causes personal relations to become strained after you are elected recording secretary of the Knock-Knock Joke Society. The vanity plate is annoying though essentially harmless, but push comes to shouting match when you install a "talking" doorbell that intones "Knock, knock? Who’s there?" whenever anyone rings it.

Capricorn (12/22–1/19): If you are reading this, obviously our recent prediction that you would not commit suicide on national television to protest the sale of High Times to Reader's Digest was right on the money. Emboldened by that success, we further predict that you will not be kidnaped by your birth mother this year, nor will a mysterious old man begin playing knick knack on your drum.

       
an image
Aquarius (1/20–2/18): Your quest for financial security leads you to a three-day seminar on the design and marketing of CBD advertising stickers. A man whose hair looks as though it once belonged to an exotic quadruped assures you that numerous companies are eager to place their logos on miniature parasols and tiny Day-Glo sombreros. Don’t believe him.

Pisces (2/19–3/20): While dreaming that you're riding the Amortization Loop at H&R Block World, you decide it would be fun to fill out your income tax return with sines, cosines, square roots and negative integers. Don’t try it. The Internal Revenue Service has never been noted for its sense of whimsy, much less for its sense of forgiveness—not even when they're stoned.

Aries (3/21–4/19): Perhaps it’s time to reconsider your stubborn devotion to observing the letter of the law. Showing up at a black-tie-only affair wearing only a black tie, for example, is the kind of move that put the ass in asinine. What’s more, it severely compromises your ability to pull yourself up by your bootstraps besides where will hide your vape pen, up your ass?

Taurus (4/20–5/20): If you were being exiled to a remote, deserted island where you were going to spend the rest of your life alone and you could have only three strains of pot with you, which three would you choose? Consider your answer carefully. This isn’t a trick question. You will soon be exiled to a remote, deserted island.

Gemini (5/21–6/21): You become jealous when you learn that Leo is the first sign of the zodiac to register a corporate logo, you respond by becoming the first sign to adopt the metric system. Expect annoying banner ads whenever you visit Leo’s website, and be sure to state your requests in metric as well as imperial terms when ordering supplies there. Finally, we cannot advise taking the extended warranty.

Cancer (6/22–7/22): Do not become overly impressed with your opinions just because you are asked to become part of the Nielsen television survey. Your friends may not understand when you begin dressing formally whenever you watch television, nor will they take kindly to your shouting “Are you kidding me?” when they ask if you want to hang out, smoke a few joints, and watch TV.

Leo (7/23–8/22): The solution to your cat’s recent litterbox problems may be as close as your obsession with the ancient—and no longer fashionable—Chinese art of feng shui, which literally means “Put the sofa facing the window, asshole.” Cats have traditionally become discommoded by the presence of mirrors, flutes, and wind chimes anywhere near their pans. I wouldn't sleep on that Puffco Plus, either.

   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

Humor Feed Banner
Red Bull Logo