Postcards from the Pug Bus                
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
The Pug Bus is moving. We'll still be the profane, pot-smoking bastards we always have been, but now you'll have to find us at pugbus.org if you want to waste your time on this sort of shit. We've been at this address for eighteen years. We wish we could say that it was real, but it wasn't, it was fucking satire after all.
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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
burma shave sign with jingle
        
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our fearless editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the festering evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; his hatred of soccer moms; and a whole lot more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.

The Fuck It List

Ten Things You Should Quit Doing While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling the Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Britney Spears Baby Photos Exclusive
        Oct 24, 2005 - 9:53
        West Chester, Penna. - Sources close to Britney Spears told Postcards from the Pug Bus that the pop star is "devastated" over the release of the first photos of her baby, Sean Preston Spears. Images of the month-old toddler, who bears a killer resemblance to his choreographer father, Kevin Federline Spears, popped up on several websites last week.

According to a statement released late Friday by Spears' record label, Jive Records, the photo card was stolen from Spears' Nikon digital camera, which she left in the ladies room during a family outing at the zoo. Spears used the facility to change Sean Preston's diaper and to feed him a banana snack.

Neither Spears not her agent returned phone calls over the weekend, but Spears' sister, Jamie Lynn, told reporters, "Britney is sensitive about how furry little Sean Preston is. That runs in Kevin's family, though. His mama had to shave his body until he was in third grade."

Jamie Lynn also told reporters that her sister's marriage was not "in trouble," as several false tabloids have reported.

"Sure, they fight a lot," she said, "but what couple doesn't? Besides, it's often harmless fights—like who's gonna clean Sean Preston's cage or whose turn it is to put flea powder on him. Stuff like that."



Next Oprah: Babies Who Look Like Chimps and the Mothers That Love Them.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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