Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Prince Harry, Chelsy Davy Breakup Quiz Nov 12, 2007 - 1:47
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Royal watchers have been off their HP Sauce since British tabloids began reporting over the weekend that Prince Harry and his current amuse-bouche, Chelsy Davy, have come a cropper—or cropped a comer, as the case may be.
According to friends of the couple, Ms. Davy, 22, informed His Gingerness via text message on Friday that she was fed up to her bum with life in the royal fishbowl (and she wasn't that impressed with the royal box, either). She plans to return to her native Zimbabwe to help her father with his safari business.
Harry is alleged to have taken the news sitting down in an upmarket London pub, where the twenty-three-year-old prince was spotted Friday night. Before he had to be helped to his limousine, Harry had run up a $10,000 bar bill, most of which was spent on pork scratchings, champagne, and a series of torrid lap dances.
As always, Postcards from the Pug Bus is committed to bringing you not only the latest news regarding Harry and Chelsy but also the latest unsubstantiated rumors about the couple. In the meantime, we present the following Harry and Chelsy Breakup Quiz for your self-gratification and enjoyment.
1. Harry and Chelsy have been dating since they met at . . . a) a canned hunt in Zimbabwe, b) a Nazi memorabilia collector's flea market, c) a tanning salon in London, 4) eHarmony.
2. Instead of attending Chelsy's twenty-second birthday party last month, Prince Harry went to a . . . in Paris. a) rugby match, b) bum-fighting match, c) live sex show, d) cosmetic surgeon.
3. Prince Harry, an officer with the Blues Clues Royal Regiment, had hoped to see military action in . . . a) Ireland, b) Chatsworth Estates, c) Iraq, d) Balmoral Castle.
4. Chelsy Davy was . . . when she and Prince Harry first had sex. a) not a virgin, b) passed out in her own sick, c) unable to stop laughing, d) grievously disappointed.
5. Ms. Davy had moved to Leeds earlier this year in order to be closer to Harry and to study . . . a) law, b) aroma therapy, c) fashion design, d) train schedules between Leeds and London.
Bonus Question: Chelsy Davy complained to friends that . . . was too cold. a) her flat, b) the Queen Mum, c) Harry's knob, d) the shepherd's pie in the university kitchen.
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"
Yesterdays' Papers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.
Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.