Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Hillary Clinton blames her election loss on white supremacy
ex-Prince Harry and Whatsherface desperately seeking a nickname
Microsoft introduces new anal font "for assholes with something on their minds"
White women can't jump, either
Ashli Babbitt proved that . . . "bang, you're dead"
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Owen Wilson Weekend Horoscopes
        Nov 18, 2005 - 5:54
       
an image
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Born today you are the sort who doesn't get your nose out of joint easily. You are cheerfully willing to accept whatever life sends your way, whether it's an also-ran finish in the sexiest-person-in-the-office contest or an also-ran finish to Matthew McConaughey in People magazine's sexiest-man-alive voting. What's more, you play well with others, and you never let a bad hair day get you down.

Scorpio (10/24 - 11/21): Your financial prospects are so wretched you could only afford the new George Foreman heavyweight grill on a time-sharing arrangement with a family that's overly fond of road kill. Later in the weekend a 300-pound canary named Junior will raise the specters of duality, reincarnation, and Rosie O'Donnell in your mind.

Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Bad news, kid. The world is not your diaper. The wind is in your face; your ruling house is in denial; the road slopes downward to meet you, and your dreams are wearing toe tags. What's more, the four horsepersons of the apocalypse are saddling up to go barrel racing on your front lawn.

Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19): Your evening plans are set afire by Courtney Love. After a group of nuns fails to put the fire out with holy water, a paraplegic oaf saves your life by chugging cans of Fosters and spitting their contents on the fire. Let this be a lesson to you. Half an oaf is better than nuns.

Aquarius (1/20 - 2/18): The sudden appearance of a Rodney Dangerfield screen saver leads you to suspect that your computer has been infected by the diabolical Nobody Loves Me virus. Your fears are confirmed when everything you read turns to cliches. That's the way the cookie crumbles, I suppose; but if you play your cards right, at least you won't be crying over spilt milk.

Pisces (2/19 - 3/20): You think you've met your soulmate during an all-night session in a Pee Wee Herman chat room on the Internet? Before flying to San Francisco for decaf latte and Ecstasy with this individual, ask yourself whether it's someone to revere or just another preternatural smile looking for a toothpaste ad to sink its teeth into.

Aries (3/21 - 4/19): While waiting on hold to talk to a consultant at the United States Patent and Trademark Office, you overhear a conversation between two high-level officials. They're discussing a new weight-reduction drug that eliminates appetite without the usual side effects of dry mouth, flashes of all-consuming rage, and shattering paranoia. Your first reaction is to hang up so you won't be tempted to profit from this information. What are you, nuts?

Taurus (4/20 - 5/20): You are a zircon in the rough, all polyester and half a yard wide. So what? Don't permit your lack of authenticity to become a pink flamingo around your neck. Any dweeb can be genuine. That requires little thought and less concentration. Truly creative people know that their greatest masterpieces are themselves.

Gemini (5/21 - 6/21): Are you trapped inside the prison of your own gestalt, incapable of seeing a pool of water without pausing to gaze into it raptly? Are you cold, ruthless, unable to relate to anything but your own needs? If so, you should make an effort to get in touch with your feminine side. This is particularly important if you're a woman.

Cancer (6/22 - 7/22): Although you, like most Cancers, are a born complainer, you should consider the possibility that your present life is a last request from a previous existence. You should also try to discover why you were executed in that existence and what your first requests were.

Leo (7/23 - 8/22): Time to start thinking outside the box. If life sends you lemons, why not make filet of sole with a lemon-wedge garnish? If the chickens come home to roost, get out the Shake 'n' Bake. Who cares for whom the damn bell tolls anyway? Let the answering machine get it.

Virgo (8/23 - 9/22): Your volcanic temper becomes cause for concern after you microwave your palm top for failing to boot up quickly enough. A friend convinces you that your best shot for salvation lies in the Smith and Wesson Anger Management Program. Pugnacious thinks you should know that your friend got this bright idea from his dog.

Libra (9/23 - 10/23): Half your current dilemma—the benign half—is occasioned by the fact that yours is the only inanimate sign of the zodiac. Your other problems stem from a reverse case of attention deficit disorder: People have trouble paying attention to you. A prosthetic runny nose should serve to focus their attention.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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