Postcards from the Pug Bus                    

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  Keister Family Tired of Being Butt of Jokes
        Dec 10, 2019 - 5:05
an image
LIVONIA, Mich. - Ron and Linda Keister of Livonia have filed a civil suit against their next door neighbor Tim Dryzinski. The Keisters seek $275,000 in damages from Mr. Dryzinski "because he has ignored repeated requests to stop making fun of us and our last name."

The Keisters allege that Mr. Dryzinski's constant ridicule--"he even named his new Doberman Fanny Keister"--has resulted in their "loss of stature in the community." The Keisters are especially concerned about the effects of Dryzinski's "cheap shots" on their children: Lauren and Ron Jr.

"Imagine having to explain to your eight-year-old daughter why her classmates are always asking her to play pin the tail on the Keister," said a tearful Mrs. Keister. "Thankfully Ron, Jr., is only two, but I don't want him going through what Lauren has."

According to the Keisters, Mr. Dryzinski began harassing them on New Year's Day 2018 when he left a message on their answering machine asking if Ron Keister wanted to come over to watch the toilet bowl on Mr. Dryzinski's 72-inch HDTV.

"Since then," said Mr. Keister, an accountant with Toomer and Roth, "Dryzinski hasn't missed an opportunity to tell people that we're addicted to cracks or that our favorite beer is Heiniekin or that our favorite dance is the can-can. He even held a Keister egg hunt for neighborhood children this year.

"The final straw came at his Christmas party," said Mr. Keister. "Dryzinski promised not to make fun of us, so we went. Then, as soon as we got there, he said, 'Hey, everybody, the assholes from next door are here.' When I reminded him of his promise, he laughed and said that he had been speaking tongue in cheek."

Mr. Dryzinski, a self-employed tattoo artist, reacted to the Keisters' suit with a shrug. "I think they're really making asses of themselves," he deadpanned. "They won't get anywhere giving me the bum's rush. They've got to learn to put their sensitivity behind them."

Judd Zimmerman, the attorney representing Mr. Dryzinski, argues that the Keisters "could make this all go away" if they would simply alter the pronunciation of their last name.

"I wrote to their lawyer last week, suggesting that his clients pronounce their name so that it rhymes with blister," said Zimmerman. "They refused. They're more interested in salving their wounded pride with my client's money than they are in resolving this issue. That's what's at the bottom of this case."

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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