postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Hillary Clinton blames her election loss on white supremacy
ex-Prince Harry and Whatsherface desperately seeking a nickname
Microsoft introduces new anal font "for assholes with something on their minds"
White women can't jump, either
Ashli Babbitt proved that . . . "bang, you're dead"
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, Keith Richards Birthday Quiz
Dec 17, 2007 - 9:54
1. Both are partnered with people who have larger-than-life lips and a taste for individuals of the same sex. "Both" are . . . a) Katie and Brad; b) Brad and Keef; c) Katie and Keef. 2. One has regular blood transfusions while the other has a partner who signs Kwanzaa cards in his or her own blood. The members of this pair are . . . a) Brad and Katie; b) Katie and Keef; c) Keef and Brad.
a) Brad and Katie; b) Keef and Katie; c) Brad and Keef. 4. One is involved with someone who wants to save the world through religion while the other is involved with someone who wants to save the world through adoption. The members of this pair are . . . a) Katie and Brad; b) Brad and Keef; c: Katie and Keef. 5. They were married in hideously elaborate ceremonies while he or she was married on his or her birthday to save brain cells. And the winners are . . . a) Keef, Katie, Brad; b) Katie, Brad, Keef; c) Brad, Keef, Katie. Bonus question: Also born today are director Steven Spielberg, movie critic Leonard Maltin, actor Ray Liotta, and singer Christina Aguilera. Their ages add up to . . . a) 139, b) 193, c) $756 million. The answers: 1=b, 2=c, 3=a, 4=a, 5=b, bonus=b.
numbered question you answered incorrectly; and twenty-five points if you got the bonus question wrong too. Subtract fifteen points for every question you answered correctly, including the bonus question. WHAT YOUR SCORE MEANS, IF ANYTHING: The lowest score possible is -90; the highest score possible is +48. If your score was below zero, you know more about these fools than a self-respecting, healthy person should. The farther above zero you scored, the greater the chance that you are able to read without moving your lips and that your spawn won't have to ride the short bus. © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
