Mischa Barton Claims She Was Smoking Medical Marijuana

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Words observing social distancing ...

Home Ass Hats Celebrities Lifestyle Music News Religion Sports Technology Weed Our Staff

Search This Site

The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall

image of worldwide web on computer screen

The Book of Daze℠

Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©

Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick

Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book

The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX Fucking News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Mischa Barton Claims She Was Smoking Medical Marijuana
Dec 28, 2007 - 11:38

"It's always 4:20 somewhere."

LOS ANGELES - Mischa Barton, arrested early yesterday morning on suspicion of drunk driving, told reporters when she was released from jail later in the day that the weed found in the vehicle she had been driving is medical marijuana.

"I used to suffer from anxiety attacks," said the twenty-one-year-old English-American actress, best known for her portrayal of Marissa Cooper on Fox's defunct teen drama The O.C.

"The attacks got, like, so bad I totally couldn't leave my house some days. I had to send one of my maids or my driver to run errands for me or take Nicole (Richie) to the tanning salon."

"One toke over the line,
Sweet Jesus,
one toke over the line."

Ms. Barton was pulled over in the 900 block of North La Cienega Boulevard at 2:46 a.m. Thursday after Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies spotted the car she was driving straddling two traffic lanes. Deputies said Ms. Barton also failed to signal while making a turn, and she began giggling uncontrollably when the arresting officer asked to see her driver's license.

"The medical marijuana program changed my life," said Ms. Barton. "Now when I'm feeling a little weird, I spark up a phatty, and I'm good to go. Valid driver's license or not."

Ms. Barton was arrested after she had blown a field sobriety test and urinated on her yellow Crocs. Deputies also determined at that point that she was an unlicensed driver.

"Legalize it; don't criticize it."

"Don't let anxiety attacks or the paparazzi or the drizzling shits from chemotherapy harsh your mellow," said Ms. Barton. "If you've got it, smoke it; and if you want it, all you need is a note from a doctor."

In other news, C-SPAN and ETWN have announced that they will join CBS, NBC, the NFL Network, MSNBC, the Weather Channel, and the Home Entertainment Network in carrying tomorrow night's game between the New England Patriots and the New York Giants.

More Articles by This Author

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

RSS
Feed

Share The
Pug Bus

The Pug Bus Blogs On

Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers

Read any two of these still-fresh articles and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping.

Trump Buttigieg Tweet Sets Internet on Fire

Richard Jefferson Surprised to Learn That the Dallas Mavericks Have Retired His Number

National Drunks Against Madd Mothers Day℠

There's a Saint for That

There is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .

The Pug Bus Interview

image of phil maggitti smoking a funny cigarette

Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Send email to Pug Bus Editor.

Sites for Sore Eyes

Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it