postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Kobe the Girl Dad
died one year ago today
Kobe the Black Mamba
died long before that
he was the Kobe we admired for so long
girl dads are a dime a dozen
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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Mischa Barton Claims She Was Smoking Medical Marijuana
LOS ANGELES - Mischa Barton, arrested early yesterday morning on suspicion of drunk driving, told reporters when she was released from jail later in the day that the weed found in the vehicle she had been driving is medical marijuana.Dec 28, 2007 - 11:38 "I used to suffer from anxiety attacks," said the twenty-one-year-old English-American actress, best known for her portrayal of Marissa Cooper on Fox's defunct teen drama The O.C. "The attacks got, like, so bad I totally couldn't leave my house some days. I had to send one of my maids or my driver to run errands for me or take Nicole (Richie) to the tanning salon." Ms. Barton was pulled over in the 900 block of North La Cienega Boulevard at 2:46 a.m. Thursday after Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies spotted the car she was driving straddling two traffic lanes. Deputies said Ms. Barton also failed to signal while making a turn, and she began giggling uncontrollably when the arresting officer asked to see her driver's license. "The medical marijuana program changed my life," said Ms. Barton. "Now when I'm feeling a little weird, I spark up a phatty, and I'm good to go. Valid driver's license or not." Ms. Barton was arrested after she had blown a field sobriety test and urinated on her yellow Crocs. Deputies also determined at that point that she was an unlicensed driver. "Don't let anxiety attacks or the paparazzi or the drizzling shits from chemotherapy harsh your mellow," said Ms. Barton. "If you've got it, smoke it; and if you want it, all you need is a note from a doctor." In other news, C-SPAN and ETWN have announced that they will join CBS, NBC, the NFL Network, MSNBC, the Weather Channel, and the Home Entertainment Network in carrying tomorrow night's game between the New England Patriots and the New York Giants. © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
