postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
This website will not help you to "get through" anything
during the current not-soon-to-be-over pandemic
it won't "get you through" Thanksgiving
or missing your granny's funeral
or any of the other shit
you ought to be able to "get through" on your own, Skippy
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drunken young woman passed out after pissing herselfSTAFF PICKS
This week's staff picks, selected especially for you by Kristi Burlinson, our editorial intern majoring in Gender Reassignment studies at Brown University, include ...

(1) a token BLM article, Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars;
(2) an exclusive report on The Divorce Between Yin and Yang;
(3) The Oldest Living Article currently in our database.


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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
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Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Scarlett Johansson's Ass to Star in American Express Ad
Sep 17, 2011 - 12:03
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Don't try this at home.
NEW YORK - Scarlett Johansson's ass and American Express: the perfect fit. Ms. Johansson never leaves home without them.

Scarlett Johansson: My Life, My Card
Name . . . Scarlett Johansson

Born . . . November 22, 1984

Sign . . . gluteus maximus rising

Childhood ambition . . . to have a really great ass when I grew up

Hope for the world . . . that my ass could be cloned

Favorite music . . . anything by the Ass Ponys

Biggest challenge . . . not acting like my ass weighs a ton

Secret vice . . . taking nude photos of my ass with my iPhone

Perfect day . . . when nobody hacks my iPhone account

Proudest moment . . . when my ass was featured in the opening of Lost in Translation

Greatest lesson . . . learning early on the difference between my ass and a hole in the ground

Fondest memory . . . winning Time's 2003 Ass of the Year award

Great disappointment . . . that my ass has never appeared on a Franklin Mint coin, yet

Most embarrassing moment . . . when my ass was cited as the inspiration for Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl"

Greatest fear . . . that I might get Assperger's syndrome

My life is . . . more exciting than yours because I've got a better ass

My card is . . . American Express, you asshole.

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Scarlett Johansson's ass in the unforgettable opening scene of Lost in Translation
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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.


bunch of pugs looking out the back of a van
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

Daily Local News image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band ex-normal school; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.