Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Whoopi Goldberg Is an Ass Hat for Sure Dec 16, 2020 - 9:27
WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—A gay, British, former friend of mine who was active in the animal rights movement ... and, some whispered, active in the animal rights "underground" too ... hated Whoopi Goldberg. Absolutely hated, despised, shat-upon-spat-upon hatred. Hated her so much that he stooped to hurling an ethnic slur at Whoopi. Yep. He called her "white trash."
Now we could spend an entire day and an entire half-gram, liquid live resin cart, and we still might not be finished unpacking that mother-fucker. I do know one thing for certain, though: if I were white trash, I'd be offended. Whoopi is too stupid, clownish, tasteless, and boorish to be white trash. She would give white trash a bad name. She's Black [sic] trash, if anything. She is also an ass hat for saying something so dumb and uninformed that one is tempted to think there might be something to those theories of racial IQ differences.
"Whoopi Goldberg mistakenly touts Dr. Jill Biden for surgeon general."
"Well, fuck me," I thought when I first saw that headline. "Those folks at The Onion haven't lost their touch after all these years."
But wait, Gunther, that was a real headline. That stupid twat actually did think "Dr." Jill was a medical doctor. Therefore, leaping from the absurd to the abdominal, dumb-ass Whoopi thought "Dr." Jill would make a great surgeon general.
"I'm hoping Dr. Jill becomes the surgeon general ... she's a hell of a doctor. She's an amazing doctor."
Immediately one of Whoopi's co-hosts on The View said: "I could be wrong. I thought she was a Ph.D."
Well you thought wrong. "Dr." Jill holds a doctor of education degree (Ed.D.) in educational leadership from the University of Delaware. An Ed.D. is what people pursue when they aren't smart enough to get a Ph.D. (Doctor of Philosophy). The Ed.D. is to real education what a knock-off handbag is to a real Gucci. Yet some people who possess one go around bragging about it.
That, too, is ass hat behavior, but we'll roast "Dr." Biden's battleship butt another day. Stay tuned for "When 'Dr.' Jill was 'QSB' ... Queen of the Stone Balloon.
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"
Yesterdays' Papers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.
Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.