postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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Whoopi Goldberg Is an Ass Hat for Sure
Dec 16, 2020 - 9:27
Now we could spend an entire day and an entire half-gram, liquid live resin cart, and we still might not be finished unpacking that mother-fucker. I do know one thing for certain, though: if I were white trash, I'd be offended. Whoopi is too stupid, clownish, tasteless, and boorish to be white trash. She would give white trash a bad name. She's Black [sic] trash, if anything. She is also an ass hat for saying something so dumb and uninformed that one is tempted to think there might be something to those theories of racial IQ differences. "Whoopi Goldberg mistakenly touts Dr. Jill Biden for surgeon general." "Well, fuck me," I thought when I first saw that headline. "Those folks at The Onion haven't lost their touch after all these years." But wait, Gunther, that was a real headline. That stupid twat actually did think "Dr." Jill was a medical doctor. Therefore, leaping from the absurd to the abdominal, dumb-ass Whoopi thought "Dr." Jill would make a great surgeon general. "I'm hoping Dr. Jill becomes the surgeon general ... she's a hell of a doctor. She's an amazing doctor." Immediately one of Whoopi's co-hosts on The View said: "I could be wrong. I thought she was a Ph.D." Well you thought wrong. "Dr." Jill holds a doctor of education degree (Ed.D.) in educational leadership from the University of Delaware. An Ed.D. is what people pursue when they aren't smart enough to get a Ph.D. (Doctor of Philosophy). The Ed.D. is to real education what a knock-off handbag is to a real Gucci. Yet some people who possess one go around bragging about it. That, too, is ass hat behavior, but we'll roast "Dr." Biden's battleship butt another day. Stay tuned for "When 'Dr.' Jill was 'QSB' ... Queen of the Stone Balloon. © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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