Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Kobe the Girl Dad
died one year ago today
Kobe the Black Mamba
died long before that
he was the Kobe we admired for so long
girl dads are a dime a dozen
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
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two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
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man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Recent Klaus Harmony Sightings Fuel Speculation
        Mar 17, 2008 - 10:45
        LONDON - What is it about a dead genius which attracts such frenzied speculation? Examine the myths surrounding any icon and a conspiracy theory is never far away. Never was this more true than in the case of Klaus Harmony, the German maestro of erotik cinema or, as he is more popularly known, the "Mozart of Porn."

Raised in postwar Berlin, Harmony played the accordion to accompany his "cabaret performer" mother and moved to London to find success as a rock musician. In 1969 he returned to Europe and met Friedrich Wohlfäht, a photographer for clothing catalogues and an aspiring filmmaker; the rest, as they say, is history. Harmony's "tone erotiks" (as he preferred to call them) set the mood for a total of eleven movies and have earned him and his literate, funky music cult status.

The real boost to his credibility, of course, came in the form of his death in 1984 in an east London record store. The police did not find a body and the composer was assumed to be dead.

His fifth wife--and actress widow--Suzanne Watkins-Robb, has often ventured the opinion that he wanted to eschew the pressures of fame and return to his accordion playing in a touring European "art circus," a theory not supported by the composer's colleague and confidante Jan Sink, who has also been openly skeptical about "sightings" of the porn genius.

"Yeah, they say he was maybe running away to play his accordion, you know? But I think it is not the case. Some crazy stuff came up some while ago about him being an agent for the KGB perhaps, just because he was wearing dark glasses and carrying a Lugar and briefcase in a hotel lobby one day. He was meeting me for lunch and I looked exactly the same. They never mentioned that!"

And just last year a story focusing on a vagrant claiming to be Klaus Harmony hit the headlines. What turned out to be a scam caused something of a sensation. Not so much because of an epic police chase down the California highway to apprehend the tramp but for the involvement of rock superstar Sting.

"Sting contacted us about the guy," shrugged Jan Sink in a recent interview. "He said he was Klaus and stole a Winnebago that he wanted in return for the music rights. Crazy. But it wasn't him. I'd know Klaus' beautiful eyes anywhere. Sting is a funny guy, you know? With Sting around . . . boy, crazy s**t happens!"

But rumors will be rumors and, as such, they persist. Little Steve 'Streve' Deevey, a London music studio runner and white rap-artist, has published photos taken at an industry event attended, he claims, by the late Klaus Harmony himself.

        "The guy was like way cool. Something about him, yeah? He was well charismatic and had a nice smell and everything. I thought he looked like someone I'd seen and then I remembered Klaus Harmony. I Googled him and he was like exactly the same. Well freaky!"

Almost a quarter century has passed since Klaus Harmony disappeared. Now, with the re-release of his catalog on iTunes underway, he has an international fan base; European DJs play his music at their clubs; musicologists publish essays on the soundtracks; advertising agencies want to enhance their brand with his artful, vintage funk; American religious groups want to ban his online presence and he is a talking point for journalists around the globe.

Whether the man himself is dead or not, the Klaus Harmony legend is alive and kicking.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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