postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Hillary Clinton blames her election loss on white supremacy
ex-Prince Harry and Whatsherface desperately seeking a nickname
Microsoft introduces new anal font "for assholes with something on their minds"
White women can't jump, either
Ashli Babbitt proved that . . . "bang, you're dead"
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
...
...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
| Home Ass Hats Celebrities Music U.S. News World Religion Sports Technology Weed Us |
The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
|
|
||
|
Chelsea Clinton Nixes Questions about Trojan Horse
***image2**WEST CHESTER, PA—Chelsea Clinton brings her girl-in-the-bubble tour to West Chester University this afternoon, and students have been warned that anyone who asks a question about the Trojan Horse on the Postcards from the Pug Bus compound nearby will be removed from the gathering by force if necessary and may face disciplinary action.Mar 27, 2008 - 1:09 "We don't like to temper free speech unless we have to," said a member of the university's student affairs office, "but we don't want the kind of negative publicity Butler University got over that kid's question." That kid—Butler student Evan Strange, 20, who works for the student newspaper, Dawgnet—asked Miss Clinton, 28, whether she thought the Lewinsky scandal had damaged her mother's credibility as a candidate. Miss Clinton told him petulantly that was none of his business. Many people who have seen the Trojan Horse, which appeared mysteriously on the Pug Bus compound in the early hours of March 17, have said it bears a galloping resemblance to Miss Clinton, who has been pimping for her mother on college campuses across the country. "I don't want to beat a dead horse," said Biff Scuzzy, special events correspondent for the Pug Bus, "but maybe she's biased against anyone from a publication known as Dawgnet, after all, Rush Limbaugh did refer to Miss Clinton as the White House dog when she was thirteen. She might have learned to walk off lead in the meantime, but she sure as fuck hasn't gotten any prettier." Mr. Scuzzy's crudeness might be forgiven in someone who was born with post traumatic stress disorder, but others less challenged are equally offended by Miss Clinton's refusal to take questions from reporters. Recently she blew off a Cedar Rapids, Iowa, fourth grader and "kid reporter" for Scholastic News who merely asked if Miss Clinton thought her father "would be a good 'first man' in the White House." How touchy is that? It's not like the kid asked how Chelsea's mommy's going to like working in the same office where Monica Lewinsky hummed "Hail to the Chief" while sucking on an Altoid, among other things. © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
||
|
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
