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Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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Moammar Gadhafi Obsessed with Condoleeza Rice Aug 26, 2011 - 5:46
TRIPOLI, Libya - The scene inside Moammar Gadhafi's man cave in his Bab al-Aziziya compound looked like the centerfold of Beggar's Banquet, only worse. Rebel soldiers, having discovered Mr. Gadhafi's collection of adult toys, were not hesitating to model them (the cock rings) or attack each other with them (the butt plugs).
Amidst all this sweaty delerium, however, lay a secret so vile that its discovery brought the party to a knee-snapping halt.
"Allah, spare my sight," screamed one rebel soldier.
"Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggg!" screamed others, falling to the ground as if they had been struck by a vengeful deity.
The cause of their dismay was a set of hand-carved, virgin-ivory containers that held seven photo albums filled with pictures of former U.S. Secreetary of State Condoleeza Rice--photo after photo after goddamn photo. Condi in Jimmy Choos; Condi in distressed Seven Jeans and Juicy Couture top; Condi rocking Swarovski encrusted Louis Vuitton sunglasses. The depth of Mr. Gadhafi's obsession with the gap-toothed diplomat makes dropping chemical weapons on your own people seem like a churlish prank.
Although Mr. Gadhafi met Secretary of State Rice when she visited Tripoli in 2008--and shared a late-night dinner with her to break the Ramadan fast--the weapons of mass devotion had been stockpiled in the Libyan leader's heart for some time. During a 2007 interview with al-Jazeera television, Mr. Gadhafi spoke of Secretary Rice they way Tom Cruise went on about Katie Holmes.
"I support my darling black African woman," declared Mr. Gadhafi. "I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back, crosses her legs, and gives orders to the Arab bastards. Leezza, Leezza, Leezza. I love her very much because she is a nubile black woman of African origin."
In addition to the hundreds of photos of Secretary Rice, rebel soldiers also found several copies of Steve Earle's 2004 CD, Revolution Starts Now, which contains a faux-reggae mash note to Condoleezza entitled "Condi, Condi."
One can imagine Mr. Gadhafi, brillo hair freshly dyed, pill box hat sitting goofily on his head, playing air guitar and singing along with Mr. Earle: "Skank for me, Condi, show me what you got/They say you're too uptight I say you're not."
For their part, the rebel leaders were scratching their heads and wondering why Gadhafi "didn't pick somebody with bigger tits."
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.