Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Hillary Clinton blames her election loss on white supremacy
ex-Prince Harry and Whatsherface desperately seeking a nickname
Microsoft introduces new anal font "for assholes with something on their minds"
White women can't jump, either
Ashli Babbitt proved that . . . "bang, you're dead"
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Van Morrison Files for Intellectual Bankruptcy
        Jan 11, 2010 - 10:00
       
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DUBLIN - Irish singer and curmudgeon Van Morrison has filed for intellectual bankruptcy, according to a notice published on his official website—The Gospel According to St. Van.


The famously gruff singer-songwriter informed his fans that he hasn't had a worthwhile musical idea since 1972 and that he's tired of recycling the same three riffs, though he seemed at a loss to explain why he had been in a thirty-eight-year slump.


"As God is my judge," wrote Mr.Morrison, 64, "I have no idea how things came to such a sorry pass."


According to friends of the reclusive singer, part of Mr. Morrison's problem is his raging paranoia.


"Van's spent so much time trying to protect what's his that he's taken himself prisoner and built a moat around his life," said one acquaintance, who asked not to be identified for fear of retribution.


"I'll tell you how bad that guy is," said Jerry Lee Lewis, whose sister Linda Gail once sued Mr. Morrison for sexual harassment and wrongful termination. "He don't even know the woman who runs fourteen of his companies and manages his tours. How [messed] up is that?"


Mr. Lewis was referring to Texas-born Gigi Lee, 42, who does indeed command fourteen of Mr. Morrision's companies and who is reputed to have given birth to the singer's latest son—George Ivan Morrison XVI.


When Mr. Morrison was informed via his website that Ms. Lee, who also manages the website, had presented him with a son, he flashed his trademark scowl and muttered, "Never met the slattern."


When he was shown a photo, published recently in London's Daily Mail, of him and Ms. Lee backstage at a concert in California, Mr. Morrison mumbled, "Oh, that Gigi Lee. Stupid slattern. Only mer her once."


In addition to having denied that he ever knew Ms. Lee, Mr. Morrison also denied knowing that he had a website until two weeks ago. He further denied through a statement issued by his publicist, whom Mr. Morrison claims never to have met, that he (Mr. Morrison) is a legal resident of Ireland; that he was ever in a band called THEM; that he wears a hat all the time because he has a rare skin cancer; and that he had ever listened to Rod Stewart's version of "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You."


In related news, Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood, who is credited with throwing the party where Van Morrison and Gigi Lee met in 1998, has issued a statement saying, "1998? I can't say that I remember 1998. That was, like, fifteen years ago."




   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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