postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
 

"Silence is violence," we are told by the same assholes who were telling us not long ago that "speech is violence."
People who claim that meat should be used as a condiment ought to be reminded that vegetables work best as garnishes.
According to Consumer Reports, the Vizio M-Series Quantum 55-inch TV is rated "best" by rioters in Portlandia, who give it high fives for portability (only 35.6 lbs) as well as a generous $659 discount at all participating and non-participating stores
From hair plugs to butt plugs, the political "awakening" of J. Robinette Biden
The Ultimate White Privilege: Only white people can forgive other white people for their racism
The next time you hear somebody creepy crawling through your living room at 4:00 a.m., don't call the police, call BLM instead, oh wait, that's probably BLM in your living room already
What's the difference between a transvestite and a transgender? A transvestite has a sense of humor
Expect riots post election in November ... question is, will there be more rioting if Trump wins or if he loses
White privilege means always having to say you're sorry
Reparation: Taking money from people who never owned slaves . . . and giving it to peope who never were slaves
The Pug Bus supports BLM's demand to replace Andrew Jackson's image on the twenty-dollar bill with George Floyd's

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday


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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Postmodern Horoscopes
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Presenting the astrological world's only postmodern horoscope . . . the one grand narrative you can believe in . . . guaranteed to deconstruct your future before it happens. Click, poke, tap, or finger here, Jacques.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Apologizing for Anything
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Van Morrison Files for Intellectual Bankruptcy
Jan 11, 2010 - 10:00
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DUBLIN - Irish singer and curmudgeon Van Morrison has filed for intellectual bankruptcy, according to a notice published on his official website—The Gospel According to St. Van.

The famously gruff singer-songwriter informed his fans that he hasn't had a worthwhile musical idea since 1972 and that he's tired of recycling the same three riffs, though he seemed at a loss to explain why he had been in a thirty-eight-year slump.

"As God is my judge," wrote Mr.Morrison, 64, "I have no idea how things came to such a sorry pass."

According to friends of the reclusive singer, part of Mr. Morrison's problem is his raging paranoia.

"Van's spent so much time trying to protect what's his that he's taken himself prisoner and built a moat around his life," said one acquaintance, who asked not to be identified for fear of retribution.

"I'll tell you how bad that guy is," said Jerry Lee Lewis, whose sister Linda Gail once sued Mr. Morrison for sexual harassment and wrongful termination. "He don't even know the woman who runs fourteen of his companies and manages his tours. How [messed] up is that?"

Mr. Lewis was referring to Texas-born Gigi Lee, 42, who does indeed command fourteen of Mr. Morrision's companies and who is reputed to have given birth to the singer's latest son—George Ivan Morrison XVI.

When Mr. Morrison was informed via his website that Ms. Lee, who also manages the website, had presented him with a son, he flashed his trademark scowl and muttered, "Never met the slattern."

When he was shown a photo, published recently in London's Daily Mail, of him and Ms. Lee backstage at a concert in California, Mr. Morrison mumbled, "Oh, that Gigi Lee. Stupid slattern. Only mer her once."

In addition to having denied that he ever knew Ms. Lee, Mr. Morrison also denied knowing that he had a website until two weeks ago. He further denied through a statement issued by his publicist, whom Mr. Morrison claims never to have met, that he (Mr. Morrison) is a legal resident of Ireland; that he was ever in a band called THEM; that he wears a hat all the time because he has a rare skin cancer; and that he had ever listened to Rod Stewart's version of "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You."

In related news, Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood, who is credited with throwing the party where Van Morrison and Gigi Lee met in 1998, has issued a statement saying, "1998? I can't say that I remember 1998. That was, like, fifteen years ago."


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