Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Taylor Swift Plans Chain of Anal Bleaching Salons Jan 13, 2010 - 4:53
NASHVILLE - Country artist Taylor Swift, 20, announced on her website yesterday that she plans to open a chain of anal bleaching salons this summer. Ms. Swift, who turns her frequent two-month romances into popular songs, will cut the ribbon at the flagship Pucker Up bleaching salon in Los Angeles at a date to be announced later. As usual she plans to write a song for the occasion.
"I was hurt so badly when a boyfriend—I forget whether it was Joe (Jonas), Taylor (Lautner), John (Meyer), or Zac (Efron)—said my brown eye really made him blue," said Ms. Swift. "It was weeks before I could even think of letting anybody see me naked again."
In the meantime Ms. Swift "researched Wikipedia," where she learned, "Some light-skinned people have some degree of darker pigmentation of the skin immediately around the anus, which can be mistaken for poor personal hygiene."
"I had never heard of such a thing," said Ms. Swift. "Poor personal hygiene is soooo gross, especially among girls like me who have taken the pledge to remain virgins until they get married."
After writing a song to reassure her fans that her "tooter" is not disgusting, Ms. Swift decided to try a little Brown Off anal bleaching cream at a local salon.
"It worked so well I saw [the chain of salons] as a way of diversifying. I mean, I can't keep writing break-up songs all my life. I will get married some day, then I'll be stuck with nothing to write about except babies."
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.