Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological
Penultimate Day Campaign
Join the Pug Bus in its crusade to have December 30 declared National Penultimate Day. Our goal is to rescue penultimate from the puss-warted clutches of abusers of the language. What's more, we can give that snooty "Auld Lang Syne" business a well-deserved kick in the shorts. For the ultimate—and the penultimate—news about our glorious campaign, click here.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this.""
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
3. Seat Belts
4. FOX Fucking News
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Your Stinking Bucket List
7. Pissing Indoors
8. Hugging Anyone You're Not Fucking
9. Stupid-ass, Dip-Shit, Old Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Taylor Swift Plans Chain of Anal Bleaching Salons Jan 13, 2010 - 4:53
NASHVILLE - Country artist Taylor Swift, 20, announced on her website yesterday that she plans to open a chain of anal bleaching salons this summer. Ms. Swift, who turns her frequent two-month romances into popular songs, will cut the ribbon at the flagship Pucker Up bleaching salon in Los Angeles at a date to be announced later. As usual she plans to write a song for the occasion.
"I was hurt so badly when a boyfriend—I forget whether it was Joe (Jonas), Taylor (Lautner), John (Meyer), or Zac (Efron)—said my brown eye really made him blue," said Ms. Swift. "It was weeks before I could even think of letting anybody see me naked again."
In the meantime Ms. Swift "researched Wikipedia," where she learned, "Some light-skinned people have some degree of darker pigmentation of the skin immediately around the anus, which can be mistaken for poor personal hygiene."
"I had never heard of such a thing," said Ms. Swift. "Poor personal hygiene is soooo gross, especially among girls like me who have taken the pledge to remain virgins until they get married."
After writing a song to reassure her fans that her "tooter" is not disgusting, Ms. Swift decided to try a little Brown Off anal bleaching cream at a local salon.
"It worked so well I saw [the chain of salons] as a way of diversifying. I mean, I can't keep writing break-up songs all my life. I will get married some day, then I'll be stuck with nothing to write about except babies."