postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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Musicians Admit to Only Pretending to Like Pete Seeger
Mar 3, 2010 - 12:38
"At first we were like, who invited the old guy," said one musician who did not wish to be identified. "Then we heard that he used to somebody famous a long time ago, so we tried to make him feel comfortable." Dave Matthews was not so shy about speaking on the record. "Did you see what that geezer has printed on his banjo?" laughed Mr. Matthews. "'This machine surrounds hate and forces it to surrender.' That [crap] went out of style in the McCarthy Era. The banjo ought to say, 'This machine puts people to sleep.'" Even Bruce Springsteen, who several years ago recorded thirteen folk songs written or made "popular" by Mr. Seeger, finds him difficult to take for long periods of time. "Oh, man," said Mr. Springsteen, "does that cat repeat himself or what? If he's told me once, he's told me fifteen times about being blacklisted in the fifties. I know the whole damn story by heart." Other musicians complained about Mr. Seeger's "old man smell," his bossiness, and his habit of "falling all over" the women with whom he performs. Mr. Seeger rose to modest prominence as a member of The Weavers, whose cover of Leadbelly's "Goodnight, Irene" topped U.S. pop charts for thirteen weeks in 1950. Since then he has mainly appeared at rallies and demonstrations, where he could always be counted on to lead the faithful in a stirring rendition of "We Shall Overcome." Mr. Seeger is also the author or co-author of some of the most annoying protest songs ever written—"Where Have All the Flowers Gone?" and "If I Had a Hammer." The latter is so godawful that Joan Baez recently refused to perform it at the White House, even though First Lady Michelle Obama had requested it. © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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