Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
E-Trade Sues Lindsay Lohan for Damages Mar 11, 2010 - 7:13
NEW YORK - E-Trade has filed a countersuit against Lindsay Lohan, seeking $100 million in damages for what it calls "malicious and damaging association." The suit, filed yesterday in a Manhattan court, charges that the former actress and singer did irreversable damage to E-Trade's reputation by claiming that the "milkaholic" baby named Lindsay in a recent E-Trade commercial is based on Ms. Lohan.
"Lindsay Lohan's suit against E-Trade is beyond frivolous," said E-Trade spokesperson Gail Cunningham. "It is a cynical attempt to revive her career by maligning our reputation. What makes her think any legitimate company would reference a celebrity known more for public drunkeness and widespread drug abuse than for her lamentable 'acting'? We don't need that toxic asset on our books."
The E-Trade ad, which is alleged to have sent Ms. Lohan, 23, crying to her mother, features a baby girl who is upset because her boyfriend did not call the previous night. The boy apologizes, saying he was busy on E-Trade, diversifying his portfolio like a wolf. He then howls, which appears to send his little girlfriend into a swoon. Nevertheless, she asks, "And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn't over?"
"Lindsay?" the boy asks, attempting to look innocent; but he is so busted when another baby girl pokes her head into the frame and asks, "Milk-a-what?"
After she had stopped crying, Ms. Lohan filed a lawsuit in Nassau County Supreme Court in New York, claiming that E-Trade had violated her rights by using her "name and characterization" in business without paying her or obtaining her approval. Ms. Lohan's lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, contends that it doesn't matter that the commercial doesn't mention Ms. Lohan's surname (note to Lindsay Lohan fans: a surname is a person's last name).
"Do you know the name Oprah? Do you know the name Madonna?" said Ms. Ovadia. "Same thing. Why didn't they use the name Susan?"
Because they didn't want to offend Susan Sarandon?
A spokesperson for Grey Group, which produced the "milkaholic" commercial, explained the choice of the name Lindsay.
"We just used a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team."
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.