Postcards from the Pug Bus                    

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin Gone and Forgotten
        Sep 3, 2011 - 4:49
an image
PHILADELPHIA - Five years ago tomorrow Steve Irwin, better known as the crocodile hunter, died as he had lived: messing with a dangerous critter with whom he had no business messing. This time it was a bull stingray, who was minding his own business in waters near the Great Barrier Reef when the Billy Mays of conservationists came barging along.

Quicker than you could say "crickey"—which Mr. Irwin said until he got on everyone's last nerve—the stingray had rammed its serrated barb into Mr. Irwin's overeager heart. "C'est la vie, say the old folks. It goes to show you never can tell."

Around the world‐from deserts to jungles to rain forests‐wildlife could breathe a sigh of relief. That loud-mouthed wanker in the khaki shorts wouldn't be crashing their parties any more.

In the months following Mr. Irwin's timely death, his legacy appeared secure. Thousands attended memorial services in his honor, and soon there were reports that several Steve Irwin impersonators had perished while stingray gigging, snake taunting, or alligator wrestling. Mr. Irwin's daughter Bindi, then 8, launched a singing career; her brother Bob, then 2, hired an agent; and their mother, Terri, then 42, started work on a successful memoir entitled My Steve.

By the second anniversary of Mr. Irwin's passing, however, the tide had gone out. Internet auction sites were overstocked with Steve Irwin official safari pants, Steve Irwin personal-size port-o-potties, and Steve Irwin alligator jerky. My Steve was slipping down the charts, and fewer people were wearing khaki shorts on Steve Irwin Day, celebreated each year on November 15.

Nevertheless, the Animal Planet is still pimping Mr. Irwin's legend and recycling his television shows lest we forget his irritating, unhinged mannerisms, his goofy yob face, and his zeal for knocking on doors without being invited.

All that, as Grace Slick observed in another context, "Doesn't mean shit to a toad." Mr. Irwin's legacy will ultimately perch on Elseya irwini, the turtle Mr. Irwin discovered.

How fitting! A creature that is able to breathe out its ass underwater is named after a guy who talked out his ass all the time. From Mr. Irwin's butt to god's ear, eh fellow Christians.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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