Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Ashton Kutcher Looking for Older Woman Oct 1, 2011 - 8:53
HOLLYWOOD - The young clam that Ashton Kutcher allegedly shucked on his sixth wedding anniversary last weekend was just a beard, a decoy meant to throw inquiring minds off the scent of the woman he really craves: a woman of a certain age. In Mr. Kutcher's case, that age appears to be north of sixty.
"Ashton's seen that Helen Mirren film Calendar Girls like a zillion times," laughed Wilmer Valderrama, who appeared with Mr. Kutcher on That '70s Show. "He's also really into—or would like to be into—Susan Sarandon, Glenn Close, and Diane Keaton. He's got posters from their latest movies all over his boy cave. Demi finally got tired of it and went to New York without him on their anniversary."
Demi Moore, 48, is fifteen years older than her husband, Mr. Kutcher. Friends are whispering that her obsession with staying young may have been the ruination of her marriage.
"If Ashton wanted young, he would have married young," said Mr. Valderrama. "He wanted to watch Demi grow wrinkles, lose pubic hairs, all that good stuff, but it wasn't happening fast enough for him. I think Demi truly loved him, but she didn't love him enough to get old for him."
According to Dr. Phil, "Ashton suffers from advanced Peter Pan complex. He needs to be with someone older than he is so that he can continue to look young, even as he ages. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if he hit on Betty White next."
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.