Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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Representative Lamar Smith Is the Ass Hat of the Week Oct 8, 2011 - 11:16
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Lamar Smith, chairman of the House of Representatives Judiciary Committee, is the latest winner of the Postcards from the Pug Bug Ass Hat of the Week Award. Mr. Smith (R-Texas) earned this highly influential prize by sponsoring a bill that encapsulates all that is cynical, imperialistic, and reprehensible about the attitudes of too many residents of these self-important United States.
Mr. Smith's bill, which was approved by a sufficient number of other jackals in the House, would make federal criminals out of American citizens who discuss or plan activities intended to be carried out legally on foreign soil if those activities would violate the Controlled Substances Act (CSA) were they carried out in the United States.
Yup. You read that right. Mr. Smith's folly would allow prosecutors to bring conspiracy charges against anyone who discusses, plans, or advises another person to engage in any activity that violates the CSA, no matter where the fuck in the world that activity is committed or how fucking legal it is to commit that act there or how little impact that act would have on the United States.
So if two Americans, we'll call them Jared and Melissa, are getting married in Amsterdam and they discuss their idea of laying a few joints on members of the wedding party, they would be subject to prosecution according to Mr. Smith's new bill—even though pot smoking is legal in Amsterdam and even though a few members of a wedding party getting high thousands of miles away doesn't mean shit to a toad in Muleshoe, Texas.
The wedding plans of a couple stoners aren't the only targets in Mr. Smith's sights. His ass-hat-worthy legislation could potentially affect academics and medical professionals.
A doctor practicing in Des Moines, for example, who works with overseas doctors or government officials on needle exchange programs could be subject to criminal prosecution. A U.S. resident who shares pot-growing tips with someone in another country—or who advises a person about running a medical marijuana dispensary—would also be in violation of the Mr. Smith's law, even if medical marijuana is legal in the country where the recipient of this compassionate advice resides.
If applied stupidly enough, Mr. Smith's brain fart would allow prosecutors to fuck with doctors, academics, and policymakers who contribute their expertise to experiments such as the drug decriminalization project in Portugal, which has successfully reduced drug crime, addiction, and overdose deaths.
The arrogant thinking of ass hats like Mr. Smith is founded on the misguided and altogether unproven assumption that America knows best, that we are the world or at least the world's policeman, nanny, judge, jury, and four-hundred-pound schoolyard bully.
No wonder so many people in so many other nations hate us. We invade their countries, rain down drones on innocent people, prop up thugs who will do our bidding, and rub out the ones who don't. Hell, we'll even execute our own citizens without a trial on a slow day. We need fewer ass-hat politicians and more philosophers and pot smokers in this country.
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The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.