Postcards from the Pug Bus                    

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Kobe the Girl Dad
died one year ago today
Kobe the Black Mamba
died long before that
he was the Kobe we admired for so long
girl dads are a dime a dozen
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  Representative Lamar Smith Is the Ass Hat of the Week
        Oct 8, 2011 - 11:16
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WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Lamar Smith, chairman of the House of Representatives Judiciary Committee, is the latest winner of the Postcards from the Pug Bug Ass Hat of the Week Award. Mr. Smith (R-Texas) earned this highly influential prize by sponsoring a bill that encapsulates all that is cynical, imperialistic, and reprehensible about the attitudes of too many residents of these self-important United States.

Mr. Smith's bill, which was approved by a sufficient number of other jackals in the House, would make federal criminals out of American citizens who discuss or plan activities intended to be carried out legally on foreign soil if those activities would violate the Controlled Substances Act (CSA) were they carried out in the United States.

Yup. You read that right. Mr. Smith's folly would allow prosecutors to bring conspiracy charges against anyone who discusses, plans, or advises another person to engage in any activity that violates the CSA, no matter where the fuck in the world that activity is committed or how fucking legal it is to commit that act there or how little impact that act would have on the United States.

So if two Americans, we'll call them Jared and Melissa, are getting married in Amsterdam and they discuss their idea of laying a few joints on members of the wedding party, they would be subject to prosecution according to Mr. Smith's new bill—even though pot smoking is legal in Amsterdam and even though a few members of a wedding party getting high thousands of miles away doesn't mean shit to a toad in Muleshoe, Texas.

The wedding plans of a couple stoners aren't the only targets in Mr. Smith's sights. His ass-hat-worthy legislation could potentially affect academics and medical professionals.

A doctor practicing in Des Moines, for example, who works with overseas doctors or government officials on needle exchange programs could be subject to criminal prosecution. A U.S. resident who shares pot-growing tips with someone in another country—or who advises a person about running a medical marijuana dispensary—would also be in violation of the Mr. Smith's law, even if medical marijuana is legal in the country where the recipient of this compassionate advice resides.

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If applied stupidly enough, Mr. Smith's brain fart would allow prosecutors to fuck with doctors, academics, and policymakers who contribute their expertise to experiments such as the drug decriminalization project in Portugal, which has successfully reduced drug crime, addiction, and overdose deaths.

The arrogant thinking of ass hats like Mr. Smith is founded on the misguided and altogether unproven assumption that America knows best, that we are the world or at least the world's policeman, nanny, judge, jury, and four-hundred-pound schoolyard bully.

No wonder so many people in so many other nations hate us. We invade their countries, rain down drones on innocent people, prop up thugs who will do our bidding, and rub out the ones who don't. Hell, we'll even execute our own citizens without a trial on a slow day. We need fewer ass-hat politicians and more philosophers and pot smokers in this country.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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