postcards from the pug bus

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or any of the other shit
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drunken young woman passed out after pissing herselfSTAFF PICKS
This week's staff picks, selected especially for you by Kristi Burlinson, our editorial intern majoring in Gender Reassignment studies at Brown University, include ...

(1) a token BLM article, Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars;
(2) an exclusive report on The Divorce Between Yin and Yang;
(3) The Oldest Living Article currently in our database.

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Paul McCartney Marries Another Plain-Looking Vegetarian
Oct 10, 2011 - 8:03
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"La, la, la, la, la, la,
the lovely Nancy."
LONDON - Paul McCartney wed American heiress Nancy Shevell in a brief civil ceremony in London yesterday. Ms. Shevell, 51, is the third in a series of remarkably plain, vegetarian women whom Mr. McCartney, 69, has married.

The one-time Beatle revealed his fondness for ordinary-looking women who eschew meat when he married his first wife, Linda Eastman, in 1969 at the beginning of what would later come to be called his "mullet years."

A clean-looking woman as bland as tofu, Linda McCartney was known for her wretched singing voice and her tiresome promotion of vegetarian eating. She wrote a cookbook and marketed her own line of vegetarian meals from which the meat and the flavor had been removed.

an image
"La, la, la, la, la, la,
the lovely Linda."
After Linda had died of breast cancer, Mr. McCartney was convinced he would never meet another woman who combined her unremarkable looks and cooking skills. Before long, however, he was head over non-leather heels in love with former model and full-time animal rights activist Heather Mills, whose plainness can scarcely be overstated. That she has a prosthetic left leg that was not tested on animals only deepened her allure for Mr. McCartney.

Unfortunately Ms. Mills has the carnivorous personality of a snake, and before long the wheels and her leg had begun to come off the young marriage.

"She was always hopping mad about something," said Ringo Starr, who drummed for Mr. McCartney in The Beatles.

The Mills-McCartney marriage ended in divorce in 2008, and once again Mr. McCartney was alone. After dating a few women he had met on, Mr. McCartney began seeing Ms. Shevell, who vacations in the Hamptons as he does. Ms. Shevell is so plain that members of her own family often have trouble placing her at large family gatherings.

an image
"La, la, la, la, la, la,
the lovely Heather."
"She's a real non-looker all right," said Mr. McCartney's daughter Stella, a top fashion designer who designed Ms. Shevell's dairy-free wedding dress. "I haven't seen Dad this happy in years. He was so thrilled when Nancy agreed to convert to vegetarianism. He can't stand the scent of a woman who eats meat."

Although friends of Mr. McCartney wish him and his new bride all the best, at least one friend thought that Mr. McCartney's search for the perfectly unremarkable woman will lead to disappointment.

"Sometimes I think Paul would be better off getting a night light," said David Gilmour, guitarist and singer for Pink Floyd.

In unrelated news: the career of actor Jeff Conoway has been ruled accidental.
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band ex-normal school; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.