Postcards from the Pug Bus                
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
STAFF PICKS
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  The Grammar Prick Sticks It to The Neosecularist and ESPN
        Oct 19, 2011 - 12:54
       
an image
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - While navigating the backwaters of the internet yesterday, I nearly ran aground on a website entitled The Neosecularist. What brought me up startled was this sentence: "There is some graphic descriptions of abortion procedures in this column."

Harrumph, I said to myself, and there is a graphic example of a language abortion in that sentence—the ignorant and annoying use of a singular verb, is, with a plural subject, descriptions. If that doesn't terminate your pregnancy quicker than a rusty coat hanger, I don't know what will.

Obviously that dead fetus of a sentence should read: "There are some graphic descriptions of abortion procedures in this column (emphasis added)."

The Neosecularist isn't the only website with its wits in a wringer. ESPN's NFC East Blog weighed in with this turd heap recently: "Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs." And everywhere there are assholes who think they can write.

This kind of mistake (trying to align a square verb with a round subject) most often occurs when there's—the contraction of there is—is involved.

"There's three dudes in ski masks waiting in your office to speak with you."

Once again There's should be There are.

Now, boys and girls, we come to the part of the lesson wherein The Grammar Prick tries to keep you from tripping over your dicks (well, some of you anyway) when you open your mouths. Armed with the knowledge that there's equals there is and here's equals here is and where's equals where is identify the incorrect sentence in each of the following groups.

Group A
1)There's two sides to every story. 2) There's an app for that. 3) There's no harm in trying.

Group B
1) Here's looking at you, kid. 2) Here's the pictures from your colonoscopy. 3) Here's a good suggestion: piss off.

Group C
1) There's one in every crowd. 2) There's too much noise in here. 3) There's eight million stories in the naked city.

Group D
1) Where's the articles I requested yesterday? 2) Where's the beef? 3) Where's your car parked?

Group E
1) There's nothing to fear but fear itself. 2) There's no need to get hostile. 3) There's a thousand reasons why Rick Perry won't be nominated.

The correct answers to these questions add up to 10.

Well, that's all the time The Grammar Prick has today, boys and girls. He has to take his afternoon nap, but he'll be back soon with another opportunity for you to find out how wretched your "command" of English really is.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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