Postcards from the Pug Bus                

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  The Grammar Prick Fingers Three Who Misused Begs the Question
        Oct 30, 2011 - 10:21
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WEST CHESTER, Penna, - Hello, boys and girls. The Grammar Prick has a treat for you today. Instead of our regular quiz designed to irritate you and to undermine your confidence in your "language arts skills," we're going to present our first Helmet Head® awards, which are designed to irritate "professionals" whose "language arts skills" have already been undermined.

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The first Helmet Head® goes to Dana Hunsinger Benbow, who writes for the Indianapolis Star. After reporting in a recent article that Wal-Mart might not keep all its stores open around the clock any longer, Ms. Benbow wrote, "Which begs the question: If Wal-Mart is re-evaluating the all-night model, is it really worth it to stay open 24 hours?"

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The second Helmet Head® is awarded to Doug McIntyre of the Los Angeles Daily News. While waxing nostalgic about his paper's one-hundredth anniversary, Mr. McIntyre wrote, "Our city has changed in amazing ways over that hundred years . . . [a]nd through it all, this paper has been here to chronicle the events of our lives both great and small. Which begs the question, will the Daily News be here 100 years from today?

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The last-but-not-least Helmet Head® goes to Wisconsin State Representative Leon D. Young. Writing in the Milwaukee Courier, Mr. Young said, "If you are like me, you are probably wondering what does this bad housing bill have to do with creating jobs or putting people back to work? For all the talk from this governor and his Republican lackeys, there is little to show. This begs the question: Where's the beef (JOBS)?!

The observant reader will notice that each of these writers used the expression begs the question incorrectly. Begs the question does not mean raises or leads to or suggests a question. In its traditional and proper sense—which was first described by Aristotle nearly 2,400 years ago—begging the question occurs when a speaker takes for granted or assumes the truth of the proposition he or she intends to prove. For example, suppose you offer the following argument to prove the existence of god: I believe God exists because the Bible says he does, and I know everything in the Bible is true because the Bible is God's word. Therefore, God must exist.

Now you know what begging the question truly means and why begging the question is also known as circular reasoning: the person using it goes round and round in circles, eventually disappearing up his own ass.

Your assignment, boys and girls, is to harass the recipients of Helmet Head® awards by sending them threatening emails and texts, hacking into their Twitter accounts, and leaving burning bags of dog shit on their doorsteps. It's nasty, brutish work to be sure, but somebody's got to do it.

Time's up again, boys and girls. The Grammar Prick has to go water board the cat. See you all next time.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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