postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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Edward Snowden Is Seriously Becoming a Diva
MOSCOW - Edward Snowden's diva-like demands are responsible for his remaining sequestered in the transit zone of Moscow's Sheremetyevo international airport. Mr. Snowden has been living in a Red Roof Inn executive suite there since arriving in Moscow from Hong Kong on July 23.Jul 12, 2013 - 2:11 According to sources close to the situation, Mr. Snowden, 30, could choose asylum in several countries, including Venezuela, Ecuador, Namibia, and the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, but his increasing list of demands regarding the flight that takes him to his chosen country is making his situation more difficult than it needs to be. "I have seen tour riders from pop musicians appearing in Russia," said Genri Reznik, a Moscow lawyer who is often called the Russian Bill Graham, "and Mr. Snowden's demands make them look like watered down vodka." Although Mr. Reznik was not allowed more than a brief look at Mr. Snowden's asylum-flight demands, the ones he could recall lent credence to his claim: a supply of Riddles, the chewy candy by Skittles® in which the flavors don't always match the colors. Albums, in vinyl, by Neutral Milk Hotel, Wilco (early CDs only), Radiohead (Kid A only), The Strokes, and others. House-baked tortilla chips and vegan blueberry muffins from Whole Foods. Three copies of Lowboy by John Wray, and a stripper's pole for Mr. Snowden's traveling companion. Mr. Snowden fled the United States with several lap top's worth of highly classified government documents and the complete Facebook user-names-and-passwords database. He stole those documents while working as an infrastructure analyst at the National Security Agency. He leaked information from several of the stolen documents—describing the extent to which the United States spies on its own citizens—to news outlets like Wired, The Guardian, Runner's World, and Vegetarian Times. © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
