Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Kobe the Girl Dad
died one year ago today
Kobe the Black Mamba
died long before that
he was the Kobe we admired for so long
girl dads are a dime a dozen
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
burma shave sign with jingle
        
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Stevie Wonder Wins Trayvon Martin Ass Hat Award
        Jul 17, 2013 - 10:09
       
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WEST CHESTER, Pa. - Racial harmony in the United States may not be receding in the rear view mirror of life so much as one might imagine in these post-Trayvon-Martin times.

Ever since George Zimmerman became a free man last Saturday night, a Saturday Night fever has enveloped members of the Liberal classes—not to mention every asshole with a Twitter account and terminal indignation.

Thus, we are inspired to award multiple ass hat awards this week to the persons who have shat their credibility the most among reasonable persons such as you and me, Gentle Readers. This was not an easy call, for the amount of bushwa, bullshit, bullocks, and balderdash being spewed over and about Mr. Martin is higher than a mountain of garbage at your nearest landfill, and four times as odoriferous to boot.

But enough. Herewith the awards.

The first ass hat goes to Anthea Butler, an associate professor of Aphthae epizooticae (hoof-and-mouth disease) at the University of Pennsylvania's Department of Religious Studies. Ms. Butler took to something called ReligionDispatches.org on Monday to declare that "this American god ain't my god. As a matter of fact, I think he's a white racist god with a problem. More importantly, he is carrying a gun and stalking young black men." Ms. Butler further declared that Trayvon Martin's killing was the result of racism influenced by christianity.

       
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Now, to prove that stupidity is color blind, please allow us to introduce you to the wisdom of David Simon, caucasoid, the creator of The Wire and the not-even-close-to-being-as-good Treme. (Full disclosure, your jovial correspondent once received a copyright-infringement notice from Mr. Simon's goons for "borrowing" the first season of Treme from the free lending library that is the internet. Fuck you, David. I was using a VPN so the notice never went any further than the folks running the server through which my clandestine activity had been routed. My ISP was never the wiser. So there, you slaphead jerk.)

Enough gloating.

Mr. Simon said recently that in Florida the "season on African-Americans now runs year round. Come one, come all. And bring a handgun. The legislators are fine with this blood on their hands. The governor, too."

Pausing only long enough to switch hands during his masturbatory rant, Mr. Simon declared, "If I were a person of color in Florida, I would pick up a brick and start walking toward that courthouse in Sanford. Those that do not . . . are testament to a stoic tolerance that is more than the rest of us deserve. I confess, their patience and patriotism is well beyond my own."

So is rational thought, you dunderhead. If you're so keen on throwing a brick at the courthouse in Sanford, why don't you hire a plane to fly you there, hire a limo to take you to the courthouse, then do your worst? Why do you expect persons of color to do your dirty work for you? Chicken-shit, fool. You sound a little racist yourself, Davey; and why do you want these persons of color to walk to Sanford? They've got the right to use public transportation, you know.

Despite the fact that I was taught not to make fun of others who did have the advantages that I had, like the miracle of sight, I'm going to ignore that advice—as I have ignored most other good advice in my lifetime—and call out Stevie Wonder.

Stevie got his extensions all in a twist over the George Zimmerman decision, which moved him to declare that he will no longer "perform" in Florida or in any other state or, indeed, in any place in the world that has a "stand your ground" law on the books.

Let's see, that means we won't be subjected to any half-ass posturing from Stevie in Alabama, Arizona, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Washington, and West By-God Virginia. (This according to a piece in The Atlantic Wire for March 22, 2012.)

We wonder what Stevie will do when he discovers that he has to perform in one of those unenlightened states because his people couldn't get him out of a pre-existing contract.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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