Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
St. Theneva, Patron Saint of Breast Reductions Dec 14, 2020 - 6:30
WEST CHESTER, Pa. - Saint Theneva of Glasgow was a British princess who enjoyed the horizontal sports from an early age. Her fondness for frolic was something of an embarrassment to her father, Lord Seefeth, who was planning to invade England and sought the favor of god in that enterprise.
Discovering that Theneva had conceived out of wedlock, Seefeth ordered that she be thrown over a cliff, naked, before god could find out.
Theneva landed unharmed at the bottom of the cliff—it is said that her truly impressive bosom broke her fall and that, indeed, she bounced when she landed. Seefeth then ordered that Theneva be set adrift in a boat on the Firth of Forth.
"She's up shit creek without a paddle for sure," he declared, certain that his daughter would die at sea; but God, who works in mysterious ways, kept her alive and provided her with an ermine cloak and a miraculous, though somewhat puzzling, breast reduction, considering that St. Theneva's breasts had saved her life.
Theneva, who was able to see her feet for the first time since she was twelve, landed eventually at Culross, where she was sheltered by Saint Serf, a blind shepherd who played sacred music on the flute.
Theneva soon gave birth to Saint Kentigern, named Mungo ("darling") by his foster-father, Serf, who was tormented nightly by erotic dreams of a full-breasted Theneva. Mungo later became the patron saint of one-hit wonders such as the group Mungo Jerry, whose seventies hit "In the Summertime" is virtually impossible to get out of your head once it's gained a purchase there.
More than a century after St. Theneva had died, the Firth of Forth Bridge opened on the anniversary of her death, and it has opened every year on that date thereafter. Women with huge breasts wade topless in the water of the Firt, hoping for a miracle. They believe the bridge opening represents St. Theneva raising her arms to god. Local wags insist, however, that it's merely Ol' Theneva lifting her legs heavenward as she often did in her youth.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.