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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

Local Resident Prefers Sex with Plants
Aug 5, 2013 - 10:24
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WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Roger Stamen is not shy about declaring his preference in sexual partners. "Plants get me off," says Mr. Stamen, a self-employed landscape gardener. "They always have, ever since I was a kid. When other guys were masturbating to Penthouse or Beaver, I was hunched over the latest issue of Horticulture magazine."

Sitting at a small, glass-topped table surrounded by the lush, dare one say sensual, foliage of his rooftop garden, Mr. Stamen is man at ease. A fit-looking chap in his "mid-thirties"—he will not reveal his age nor what his given name was before he legally changed it to Roger Stamen—he waxes enthusiastic about the benefits of his lifestyle.

"Plants don't get jealous. I've had my way with most of the plants on this rooftop. Do you think a woman would be willing to share me with that many other women? How do you think a woman would react if I brought home a fresh, virginal young woman with a tender peduncle?"

Mr. Stamen allows that he did try dating girls when he was a student at Henderson East high school. He even slept with a few, but he preferred touching his plants and himself in his bedroom.

"I couldn't wait to get home from a date so I could have some real sex witout having to say 'Of course I love you' when I didn't mean it."

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By his senior year at Henderson, Mr. Stamen had stopped dating altogether. He preferred spending his money on an annual membership to nearby Longwood Gardens, where he wandered for hours lost in erotic reverie.

"I spent the happiest hours of my youth at Longwood," he recalls. "The first time I walked through the orchid house, I had such an erection I had to duck into the nearest men's room to relieve it."

Mr. Stamen's memories of Longwood are bittersweet, however. After graduating from high school, where he was a two-term president of the Horticultural Society, he got a trainee job at the world-famous botanical gardens, but he was fired after a group of Japanese tourists filmed him masturbating into a hole he had dug before inserting a foxglove in it.

"They didn't have to report me," he says. "It's not like I was hurting them. Maybe they had never seen a stalk as big as mine before."

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After leaving Longwood in disgrace, Mr. Stamen changed his name and started his own landscaping business, whose corporate name he does not wish to reveal. Life has been blue skies and green thumbs ever since.

"I'm living the dream," he says, casting a meaningful glance at a buxom New Guinea impatiens. "I'm surrounded by lush, desirable plants at work and at home. I vacation at some of the finest botanical gardens in the world. I fall in love again every day. What more could a man want?"

What more indeed, as long as no one refers to Mr. Stamen's plants as child substitutes.
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.