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The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery-smelling, dried-up, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.>
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Deplorably Speaking: A Righteous Blog
Herein your fearless editor in briefs, who was deplorable long before deplorable was a meme, holds forth, but seldom holds his tongue, on a variety of topics ranging from the politicalization of sports to the emasculation of male college students to the idiocies of third-wave feminism to the reasons for (and implications of) the sudden prominence of white-interest™ movements to whatever fickles his nancy. You can check in any time you like as long as you're prepared to get deplorable.
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the balls to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.
Obama Unfriends Putin on Facebook, International Crisis Looms Aug 8, 2013 - 9:27
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–The Pug Bus learned overnight that President Barack Obama has unfriended Russian president Vladimir Putin on Facebook in retaliation for Mr. Putin's offering temporary asylum to Edward Snowden. The news sent shock waves through the Facebook and international communities, triggering speculation of a return to Cold War status between the two nations.
"This is a big fucking deal," said Vice President Joe Biden. "B-Rack has never unfriended anybody as far as I know," he said, referring to Mr. Obama by his Facebook screen name. "He's threatened to do it to John Boehner several times, but in the end B-Rack's a consensus kinda guy."
Mr. Putin was not available for comment, but a recent posting to his Facebook page (screen name "Putin This"), suggest he is not taking lightly to being unfriended.
"What is black on the outside and white on the inside?" Mr. Putin asked?
"An Oreo president," came the reply.
As yet no other members of the American or Russian hierarchies have unfriended their diplomatic or governmental counterparts, aside from Senator John McCain (R-AZ), who accidentally unfriended everyone on his Facebook account early today, something he has done several times in the past. Nevertheless many observers say that tension between the two nations has not been this high since the Cuban Missile Crisis.
"All it will take for an international Facebook war to break out will be for one hothead diplomat to unfriend all his Russian contacts," said Secretary of State John Kerry. "From there it's only a small step to an all-out Facebook war, and if that spreads to Twitter, the world might never be the same."
Many people know that certain gemstones, power phrases, and colors are associated with different signs of the zodiac. Only the true stargazer understands, however, the relationships among small appliances and zodiac signs. If you're always a few nachos short of a grande, you should open your mind to the voice of the small appliance that rules your universe—especially if that appliance is hissing or emiting sparks.
Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Although panic and campaign buttons aren't standard equipment on most Chef John blenders, yours is equipped with them. You will need the panic button when the candidate you support in a school board election is caught on a live mic calling the head of the school board a cunt.
Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19): Be the envy of the zodiac with your Elvis Presley Solar-Powered Walking Stick and Eight-Track Flashback. The Gladys model doubles as a dowser that shimmies whenever an Elvis sighting is immanent, say, at a Popeyes or Krispy Kremes.
Aquarius (1/20 - 2/18): Thanks to the Quentin Tarentino Home Movie Splicer there's no need for cats to suck the breath out of babies any more. Now you can edit the little crumb snatchers out of home movies and replace them with cartoon monsters.
Pisces (2/19 - 3/20): Behind every successful Pisces there's a steam iron. George Washington, for example, used a crude form of a steam iron to press his uniform before posing for that famous photo op of him crossing the Delaware. Unfortunately, there wasn't time for the other men in the photo to borrow Washington's iron.
Aries (3/21 - 4/19): Your fastidiousness and passion for order are governed by the Sterile-matic Continuous-Clean Toaster. Unlike most people, whose toaster pans contain calcified nuggets with the mineral properties of fertilizer, your Sterile-matic and, by extension, your life are gleaming monuments to civility.
Taurus (4/20 - 5/20): The constellation Amana passing through the House of Proctor and Gamble designates the crockpot as your ruling small appliance. Unfortunately, the crockpot signifies both the pleasure of cooking for a family and the loneliness of the mechanized meal. Heads you win, tails you eat alone.
Gemini (5/21 - 6/21): The Katy Perry iPod rocks the Gemini world with high-production-values sensitivity. An 8-gigabyte memory is standard equipment on this gem, so no matter how often your muse comes singing in the mist, there will always be room for the rhymes she inspires.
Cancer (6/22 - 7/22): Cancerians owe their clear skin to the Digital Electronic Cold Sore Eliminator. Blind dates, important job interviews, appearances in police lineups—with the Electronic Zit Remover you can make a smooth appearance whatever the occasion. Those walking STD incubators Lena Dunham and Amy Schumer swear by theirs. You will, too.
Leo (7/23 - 8/22): Portable, battery-operated desk fans are associated with many influential persons. No matter what your Leo body type—Mick Jagger, Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Mae West—a desk fan can help to keep you cool. Mick never leaves home, his own or his latest model friend's, without his.
Virgo (8/23 - 9/22): Your ruling cosmic appliance—a Dual-Action Reading Light and Self-Cleaning Fish Scaler—will become exceedingly scarce and valuable after it is demonstrated by Martha Stewart on a shopping channel segment sponsored by the National Organization of Women.
Libra (9/23 - 10/23): David Chang Electronic Chopsticks-Cum-Knitting Needles are the perfect appliance for Librans on the go. Why overdose on greasy wontons and calory-laden duck sauce when you can knit one and purl two while you're waiting for your steamed selections from column A and column B to arrive.
Scorpio (10/24 - 11/21): The Lidia Bastianich Air Freshener and Pasta Maker satisfies your passion for practicality. You can prepare dinner without worrying that your tricolored tortellini will be compromised by litter box odor while you try to impress that important family member or friend.
The Gift of GAB
Fuck those Twitter girly men and pearl clutchers. They banned all the cool kids like Milo, so all the cool kids are matriculating to GAB, where free spech matters.
Contact Us or Else
Hey, Skippy. Here's your big chance. Let us know what you think or if you think. You know you want to. Go ahead. We dare you. We might even print your stinking letter. Send email toPug Bus Editor