Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Kobe the Girl Dad
died one year ago today
Kobe the Black Mamba
died long before that
he was the Kobe we admired for so long
girl dads are a dime a dozen
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
burma shave sign with jingle
        
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Oprah Stomps Her Way to This Week's Ass Hat Award
        Aug 16, 2013 - 11:32
        WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Oprah Winfrey gave away a car on Jimmy Kimmel's show last night in a transparent attempt to deflect attention from her failed transparent attempt to draw attention to her new movie, something or other about some butler. As an exercise in hey-look-at-me tone deafness . . .

. . . it was among The Large One's worst, and there have been some doozies. Thus she is the unanimous winner of this week's Ass Hat award.

Some black story first: The Large One was shopping for a $37,000 bag at an exclusive shoppe in Zurich, Switzerland, sometime before BFF Tina Turner's wedding, which took place in a modest ceremony on July 21. While in the shoppe, The Large One claims, she was subjected to the worst example of racism since the murder of Medgar Evers fifty years ago.

Ms. Large made this claim when she appeared on Entertainment Tonight on August 5, where she was asked if she had personally experienced racism. Yes, she replied, a racist clerk at a shop in Zurich had refused to show Ms. Oprah an expensive bag, even though she had asked several times to see it.

"That one will cost too much, you won't be able to afford that," Ms. Winfrey claimed the racist clerk had told her.

If this incident was so monumental, we have to wonder why Ms. Oprah did not talk about it until the Entertainment Tonight interview more than two weeks later. Perhaps because that interview was conveniently closer to the August 12 premier of that movie about a butler?

Ms. Oprah later claimed in a newspaper interview that she was not being overly sensitive about the Affair in Zurich, but as her lips were moving when she made the claim, she was at least being overly grandiose.

        To wit: "Believe me, normally people are excited when I come to their stores. It's very unusual when I'm not practically dragged into a boutique. Dozens of people will be pressing their noses against the windows to get a look at me shopping."

We are too fine a person to speculate on the number of people it would take to drag Ms. Oprah into a boutique, but about the rest of her statement, are you fucking kidding me? Peasants with their noses pressed against the glass to watch this clown shop? Next thing you know she'll be claiming that dozens of people crowd around the restroom door just for the privilege of listening to her pee.

That bullshit alone would nave been enough to earn The Large One a special fitting for a Lane Bryant ass hat, but Ms. Winfrey wasn't done yet: she further revealed that she had even considered calling up the designer of the bag and/or the actress for whom it was made.

"The woman at the shop said that it was the Jennifer Aniston bag that Tom Ford had created especially for Jennifer," said The Great One. "It crossed my mind that maybe I should give Jennifer or Tom a call. I know both of them very well."

Meanwhile, the poor clerk at the shoppe in Zurich has been receiving nasty missives from the low- to middle-brow women—most of them white—who have made Ms. Industrial Size the insufferable ass hat that she is.

"I don't know why someone as great as her must cannibalize me on TV," said the unfortunate clerk.

Uh-oh. Did she say cannibalize? Wait until Oprah hears that.

Now, about the car giveaway on Jimmy Kimmel's show. It was a typical Ms. Oprah stunt: gaudy, gauche, and self-referential. Her O-ness, you may recall, once gave every member in her talk-show audience, all 276 of them, a brand new Pontiac G-Six, never stopping to think about the potential tax burdens that stunt might impose on the receivers of those Trojan cars.

Turns out the tax on a G-Six went as high as $7,000, depending on the recipient's tax bracket. Lucky recipients, therefore, had three options: keep the car and pay the tax, sell the car and pay the tax with the profits from the sale, or forfeit the car. The gift that keeps on taking.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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