postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
This website will not help you to "get through" anything
during the current not-soon-to-be-over pandemic
it won't "get you through" Thanksgiving
or missing your granny's funeral
or any of the other shit
you ought to be able to "get through" on your own, Skippy
This message brought to you by the Alt-Right's favorite satire site
Home   Ass Hats   Celebrities   Music   News   Religion   Sports   Technology   Weed   Our Staff  

drunken young woman passed out after pissing herselfSTAFF PICKS
This week's staff picks, selected especially for you by Kristi Burlinson, our editorial intern majoring in Gender Reassignment studies at Brown University, include ...

(1) a token BLM article, Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars;
(2) an exclusive report on The Divorce Between Yin and Yang;
(3) The Oldest Living Article currently in our database.


Search This Site

The Book of Daze℠
image of a calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
image
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Miley Cyrus Hater Mika Brzezinski Wins This Week's Ass Hat Award
Aug 27, 2013 - 12:18
an image
Guardian of Public Morality Mika Brzezinski
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Miley Cyrus, whose panties were too tight to bunch during her performance at the VMA awards, caused a lot of old biddies of all ages and sexes, particularly Mika Brzezinski, to react as though they had just been given the mother of all mental wedgies by Ms. Cyrus' singing and dancing.

This, in turn, caused these tiresome old biddies(TOBs), especially Mika Brzezinski, a D-list newsreader on a second-rate cable show, to squeal as though Ms. Cyrus had rubbed her butt into their business instead of Robin Thicke's. Consequently those self-righteous, pathetic TOBs, especially Mika Brzezinski, are the recipients of this week's Ass Hat award.

Words actually fail us at this point. Words like "gimme a break, asswipe" or "mind your own fucking business, dork" or "twerk this, you shit-eating fool" or "eat my shorts, mother-fucker." You know, our usual slurs in trade. For people to react with such towering indignation and disgust at the sight of a healthy young woman having a laugh or two on stage is like sticking a large foam finger into the eyes of sexually well-adjusted people everywhere.

In case you didn't see Ms. Cyrus sporting and cavorting in a way Mick Jagger wishes he were young enough to (or if you want to see it again, which is probably the case with our tens of readers), we have posted Ms. Cyrus' gleeful routine for your viewing pleasure.



If anyone finds anything to complain about in this postmodern ironic romp, he or she ought to lay aside his or her knitting and poke his or her eyes out with a stick. Our first candidate for this public service, of course, is Mika Brzezinski, who plays wing nut to some retired politician of no consequence on MSNBC's Morning Joe.

Mika Brzezinski called Ms. Cyrus' performance "really, really disturbing," which makes us wonder what she would call something "really, really disturbing," like, say, chemical warfare.

"That young lady, who is 20, is obviously deeply troubled, deeply disturbed ... probably has an eating disorder," said Mika Brzezinski.

That's some analysis, and from a distance, too. How could she have possibly been fired by CBS with chops like those? Yet this TOB wasn't finished. "I feel terrible. She is a mess. Someone needs to take care of her."

an image
Guardian of Public Morality Mika Brzezinski and some guy
We suspect Mika Brzezinski would volunteer for that duty in a heartbeat. She'd probably want to give Ms. Cyrus a proper spanking then lovingly rub her tender buttocks with olive oil—and after that an organic meal, hand-fed naturally. We further suspect that Mika Brzezinski has a closet filled with leathers for just such an occasion.

About the only sin that Mika Brzezinski didn't commit vis-a-vis Miley Cyrus was to accuse Ms. Cyrus of trading on her father's name. Oh wait. We forgot. Mika Brzezinski got her start in "journalism" by trading on her father, Zbigniew's, name. Old Ziggy was Jimmy Carter's genius national security advisor. Mika Brzezinski also has a brother who is the ambassador to somewhere and a mother who was a sculptress. Mika the ass hat, it seems, is a family as well as a national embarrassment.
Humor Feed Banner
Red Bull Logo

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.


bunch of pugs looking out the back of a van
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

Daily Local News image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band ex-normal school; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
an image
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti smoking a funny cigarette
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.