Because you are highly possessive, adore your own company, and are inclined to mate for life, you begin a campaign to have self-sex marriages legalized. Your slogan, "Be part of the problem and part of the solution at the same time," is too clever by half, and your campaign comes to grief when you are caught making an unauthorized deposit at a sperm bank.
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Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand. Sample chapters . . . -1--2-
Pastor Says Obama's Speech on Syria Will Launch Antichrist Campaign Sep 9, 2013 - 2:14
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–A local pastor warns that when President Obama addresses the nation Tuesday night, he will be selling not only a war on Syria but also his vision of an America ruled by sharia law, which decrees, among other things, that "jihad is the duty of every Muslim and Muslim head of state (caliph)" and that "a caliph can hold office through force."
"We are asking our congregation—and all men of good will, especially those who are part of the Nielsen television survey—not to watch the Antichrist speak tomorrow night, lest they be seduced by his satanic powers," said the Reverend A. LeMoyne Jennings, pastor of the West Chester United Church of the Historical Jesus.
"We must deny this man the audience and the ratings that he craves, as the Book of Revelations tells us to do, or else our children will live in a country where a Muslim will not get the death penalty if he kills a non-Muslim; where there is no age limit for the marriage of girls; no community property between husband and wife; where a woman inherits half what a man inherits; where a man has the right to have up to four wives and none of them has a right to divorce him." (Do those last four sound like Utah to anyone?)
The belief that President Obama is the antichrist is not new. As soon as he announced his candidacy in February 2007, he went from being an unknown senator—whose chief distinction was casting a noncommittal "present" vote on 129 occasions—to being conservative Christians' leading candidate for the office of Antichrist.
"According to the Book of Revelations, the Antichrist will be a man in his 40s of Muslim descent who makes known his bid for power 'in the dead of winter,'" vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin told Fox News Sean Hannity at the time.
"He will be a tall man with a fondness for sports, who will deceive nations with fancy words. People will flock to him, and he will promise false hope and world peace, but after he's in power, he'll never meet a war he doesn't like."
Conservative Christians further note that the president's name adds up to 666, the Number of the Beast, according to the popular Antichrist App (available in both Apple and Android platforms).
This app applies the decimal numerological table of letters for the English alphabet to the etymology (original meaning) of the president's name: Barack means blessed, Hussein means handsome, and Obama means leaning. B=2 L=30 E=5 S=100 S=100 E=5 D=4 (subtotal 246); H=8 A=1 N=50 D=4 S=100 O=60 M=40 E=5 (subtotal 268); L=30 E=5 A=1 N=50 I=9 N=50 G=7 (subtotal 152) and 246+268+152 = 666. Do the math.
Apparently a number of Americans have. According to a Public Policy poll released in April, 13 percent of respondents thought Mr. Obama was "the antichrist," while another 13 percent were "not sure"—but were, presumably, open to the possibility that he might be.
In addition to warning members of its flock not to watch President Obama's speech Tuesday night, the West Chester United Church of the Historical Jesus will hold a potluck supper and prayer vigil during the broadcast,
In other news: The 700 Club will counter-program the president's speech with reruns of The Omen.