Postcards from the Pug Bus                    

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  Celebrities Who No Longer Celebrate Their Birthdays on 9/11
        Sep 11, 2013 - 10:07
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HOLLYWOOD–Today as we pause to remember the tragedy that befell this nation twelve years ago, we also pause to remember the living who no longer pause to remember their birthdays on this dark and solemn date. Their sacrifice, though seemingly inconsequential, is nonetheless heartfelt.

Afflicted with varying degrees of survivors' guilt—and in many cases with liberal guilt as well—these men and women "just don't want no fuss, yo," in the words of Ludacris, who would have been 35 today.

Moby, who would have been 47, first gave up all animal products in deference to 9/11, but that still didn't get the bad taste out of his mouth, so he gave up birthday celebrations and, rumor has it, may be giving up his career soon.

Harry Connick Jr., 45, gave up one musical style after another before hitting upon giving up his birthday observations "as a way to help this nation heal."

Time, good taste, and the patience of our readers do not permit us to give more than a brief mention to all the celebrities who sacrificed their birthday celebrations lest they diminish the remembrance of a terrible day. We should mention one leader on the world stage, however, who refuses to give up his 9/11 birthday—Bashar Al-Assad, 48, the president of Syria.

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Despite President Obama's nationally televised speech last night, in which he made an eloquent plea to President Assad to give up his birthday "for the sake of the children," Mr. Assad remained defiant.

"Allah gave me a special birthday to remind Alawite Muslims that America's power is waning. I look forward to 'many happy returns of the day,' as Americans like to say. My people look forward to my birthday also. If not, they know what's coming to them."

In no particular order we salute Tyler Hoechlin, 25, played werewolf Derek Hale on the MTV drama Teen Wolf. Lola Falana, 70, once considered the Queen of Las Vegas, she later became an Evangelist. Kristy McNichol, 50, appeared in the television drama Family then retired from acting in 1995 when she was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, blames 9/11 for her condition.

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Ariana Richards, 33, was Lex Murphy in Jurassic Park. Taraji Henson, 42, tried to give up being a person of color, gave up her birthday observation instead. Laura Wright, 42, was Ally Rescott Bowman on Loving and Carly Corinthos on General Hospital.

Virginia Madsen, 51, Brian DePalma, 72, Elizabeth Daily, 51, Anne Ramsay, 52, Roxann Dawson, 54.

Editor's note: The opinions expressed in this article in no way reflect those of any sensitive individual.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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