Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
NEW YORK CITY–Nicole Kidman viciously attacked a paparazzo nearly half her height in New York City yesterday afternoon. The incident, which New York police have called an incident of sidewalk rage, occurred in front of the Carlyle Hotel.
Ms. Kidman, 46, was returning to the hotel after attending the Calvin Klein show for New York's Fashion Week when photographer Carl Wu, who was cycling down the sidewalk, tooted his horn to signal his intention to pass Ms. Kidman and her entourage, which was taking up nearly all the sidewalk.
According to THEM Weekly, the horn apparently startled Ms. Kidman, who removed her left shoe, a Jimmy Choo FMP, and assaulted Mr. Wu, knocking him to the ground and bellowing an ethnic slur in Australian.
As Mr. Wu raised his hands to protect himself, a burly female accompanying Ms. Kidman managed to restrain the actress and steer her into the hotel, but not before Ms. Kidman had kicked Mr. Wu's camera into the street, where it was crushed by a passing taxi.
The camera, Mr. Wu later told police, contained his only pictures of his newborn daughter.
Before being dragged into the hotel, Ms. Kidman screamed, "If I ever see you again, you needle-dick mother-fucker, I'll kill you."
Several friends of Ms. Kidman, none of whom would speak for attribution lest they incur her wrath, told THEM Weekly that the actress (a towering 6'2" in her Jimmy Choo's) has grown increasingly surly because of her recent box office failures.
Stoker, The Paperboy, and Tresspass, her latest films, grossed fewer than $2.5 million among them. Her last box office "success," 2011's Just Go With It, was carried by still-viable stars Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston.
"Nicole is massively insecure," said a friend. "Why do you think both her husbands are shorter than her?"
In related news: Designer Jimmy Choo said he was not offended by Ms. Kidman's using a derogatory ethnic term to describe Mr. Wu. "Nickie's always calling me things like "slope," "rice eater," and stuff. That's just the way she rolls."
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.