Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
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two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
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man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Lights Out Light Bulb Quiz for Dummies
        Sep 25, 2013 - 11:24
       
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WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Every so often one comes across a statement that makes the hairs on the tops of one's toes stand up. "It's time to start thinking about light bulbs the way we think about appliances" is one of those statements.

Say again? Think about light bulbs the way we think about appliances? You mean like, "Hey, Jim, can I borrow your truck to move an air conditioner and a light bulb on Saturday?"

Some appliances, like refrigerators, have light bulbs, but thinking of light bulbs as appliances? You mean like, "What about the extended warranty on that LED bulb for my desk lamp? Does the $99.95 cover only my lifetime or the lifetime of the bulb?"

People were first prodded to think about light bulbs as appliances in 2007 when Congress passed the Energy Independence and Security Act (EISA). (All legislation enacted since 9/11 must have the words independence, security, or freedom in its title.) EISA mandated the gradual phase-out of the manufacturing, importation, and sale of "inefficient lighting." That's code for "incandescent light bulbs," the kind that have been around since Edison's time. Production of 75- and 100-watt incandescent bulbs was halted last year, and on January 1, 2014, manufacturers will turn out the lights on 40- and 60-watt bulbs as well.

Consumers will then be left in the dark when faced with the task replacing a light bulb. How many geeks does it take to change a light bulb? Five? One to hold the bulb and four to figure out the EnergyStar rating. To keep you from falling asleep at the light switch, Postcards from the Pug Bus has prepared a Lights Out Light Bulb Quiz for Dummies.

       
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1. If every American household replaced just one standard light bulb per year with a certified, high-efficiency light source . . . a) we could pay off the national debt in three years . . . b) there would be a lot of dark cornors in the average American household . . . c) car B was traveling at an average speed of 49.65 mph . . . d) the average American still would not understand Obamacare.

2. General Electric's "omnidirectional" light bulb got its name because . . . a) it provides as much light in two directions as a 40-watt incandescent bulb provides in four . . . b) it is the only light bulb with a true north . . . c) it is ambidextrous . . . d) its package includes directions in eight languages.

3. The projected twenty-year life span of an LED (light emitting diode) bulb is calculated in . . . a) dog years . . . b) metric hours . . . c) light years . . . d) nanoseconds

4. L70 is the point at which . . . a) an LED bulb is no longer safe to operate indoors . . . b) you are no longer paying interest on the loan you took out to purchase the bulb . . . c) an LED bulb is only 70 percent as bright as it was when you bought it . . . d) you are only 70 percent as bright as you were when you bought the bulb.

5. A CFL bulb . . . a) is more likely to explode the older it gets . . . b) contains enough mercury to take a child's temperature in an emergency . . . c) is the official light source of the Canadian Football League . . . d) is a favorite of indoor pot farmers.

6. A light bulb's "estimated average energy costs per day" . . . a) are lower during leap years . . . b) are unreliable if division by zero was employed in their calculation . . . c) must have a margin of error less than 30 percent . . . d) cannot be determined if the value of pi is a rational number.

7. The higher a light bulb's CRI number . . . a) the younger the bulb will make you look . . . b) the more the bulb will cost to operate . . . c) the more likely that the bulb will increase your medical costs under Obamacare. . . d) the better it finished in MTV awards voting.

8. Lumen is . . . a) a Greek word that means "dim bulb" . . . b) the name of Dexter's girlfriend in season 5 . . . c) the Roman goddess of light . . . d) Thomas Edison's corgi.

       
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9. Color temperature . . . a) is measured on the Richter scale . . . b) is not an indication of how hot or bright a bulb gets . . . c) is based on the discredited Scientology theory that some colors are warmer than others . . . d) is easily manipulated in PhotoShop.

10. Earlier this year 554,000 LED bulbs were recalled by the Lighting Science Group (LSG) after some consumers had complained that . . . a) the bulbs had the wrong bar code . . . b) the bulbs were emitting fire and smoke as well as light . . . c) the sell-by date on the bulbs was 3021 . . .d) the LSG logo resembled that of a satanic cult.

11. If an 8-watt LED bulb is equivalent to a 40- or 50-watt incandescent bulb, how many 75-watt incandescent bulbs are there in a dozen . . . a) 9.375 . . . b) 12 . . . c) E=MC2 . . . d) . . . $2.99.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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