postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Words                                      observing                                      social                                      distancing                                      ...

image of an 8 ball Home   Ass Hats   Celebrities   Lifestyle   Music   News   Religion   Sports   Technology   Weed   Our Staff   image of an 8 ball
Search This Site

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of willie nelson smoking weed
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX Fucking News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

image of a gun

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Saint Dymphna Patron Saint of Home Schooling and West Virginia
Sep 26, 2013 - 11:57
an image
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Imagine you are a fourteen-year-old girl and you discover that your father wants to hook up with you because you resemble your late mother. You've unfriended him on Facebook and you ignore his sext messages, but you still suspect he may have installed a toilet cam in your bathroom.

This was the cross sent by God to Saint Dymphna, who was born in Ireland during the seventh century. Until her fourteenth birthday the worst thing that had ever happened to Dymphna was the death of her mother the year before, but God had other plans for this daughter of a pagan Irish king and his devout Christian wife.

To test Dymphna's faith God made her increasingly attractive to her father, Damon, the handsome king of Oriel. Thus, when Damon began thinking about taking another wife, he began to think about taking Dymphna, who resembled her late mother so much that Damon often found excuses to tuck Dymphna in at night and to tell her a bedtime story.

One night Damon told Dymphna "a true story" about a young, beautiful princess whose mother had died. The princess, although she was sad at first, lived happily ever after, "just her and her father and a magical dragon," in a land called Honalee.

an image
Perhaps it was the way Damon was sweating after he had finished telling the story, perhaps it was the way he tried to kiss Dymphna good-night on the lips, perhaps it was the dream she had later that night, the one in which Damon appeared as a dragon with a fire-breathing penis, but something told Dymphna it was time to get her own apartment.

She fled Ireland for the continent, accompanied by her faithful confessor (Father Gerbilanus) and two loyal servants. They landed in Belgium, eventually settling in the town of Gheel in a roomy apartment above a tavern. There Dymphna was home-schooled by her loyal servants. To fulfill the community-service requirement in her home-schooling program, Dymphna built a hospice for the poor and the sick of Gheel.

Meanwhile, her father, who still wanted a girl just like the girl he had married the first time around—and who still wanted her to provide him with a male heir—was able to locate Dymphna after the agents he had sent to look for her stopped in the tavern for supper and received in their change some of the coins Dymphna had spent on building the hospice. The coins bore an image of King Damon on one side and on the other side, an image of his late wife, who had an unsettling resemblance to Dymphna.

an image
Damon traveled to Gheel to retrieve his daughter. He tortured and killed Father Gerbilanus when he would not allow the king to hide in the confessional and listen the next time Dymphna confessed her sins. Then Damon tried to force Dymphna to return with him to Ireland and become his bride, but she resisted, saying she had Greek verbs to conjugate. Furious, Damon drew his sword and cut off her head.

During the ensuing centuries, as more and more attractive young women who were being home-schooled had to ward off the advances of their fathers, St. Dymphna was promoted from patron saint of West Virginia to patron saint of home schooling. She is also an auxiliary patron saint of pub food, thanks her protection of St. Dymphna's Pub on St. Mark's Place in New York City.

More Articles by This Author

Humor Feed Banner
Red Bull Logo

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

Share The
Pug Bus

The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these still-fresh articles and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti smoking a funny cigarette
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Contact Us
image of a beat up, rusty old mailboxSend email to Pug Bus Editor.

Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby
Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it

© Copyright 2013 by