Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
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two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
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man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Guido Barilla Announces New Regina Brand Pasta
        Sep 28, 2013 - 10:46
       
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PARMA, Italy–Guido Barilla, chairman of the Barilla Group, the world's leading pasta manufacturer, announced yesterday that his company plans to introduce a "boutique" pasta line known as Regina early next year.

A pun on an Italian slang term meaning queen or homosexual, the Regina brand will cater to "the type of people—reginas and lesbiche—not permitted in traditional Barilla advertising," said Mr. Barilla.

In a radio interview earlier this week, Mr. Barilla stirred the pot of controversy when he declared, "The 'sacred' or 'nuclear' family remains one of our company’s core values. The Barilla family is a traditional family. If reginas like our pasta and our advertising, they will eat our pasta; if they don’t, they will eat someone else’s pasta."

Then, not realizing that his mic was still live, he added, "Me ne sbatto il cazzo."

This remark, loosely translated as "I don't give a shit," set off a firestorm of criticism as well as calls for a boycott—and even a mancott—of Barilla products.

After tripping over his belino in two unsuccessful attempts at apologizing for his remarks, Mr. Barilla hit upon the idea of Regina pasta.

"I think this will show our reginas and lesbiche friends that even though we find their lifestyle offensive, we can still extend the hand of friendship and commerce to them."

       
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Advertising for Regina pasta will feature "authentic reginas and lesbiche models," according to Cosimo Barilla, director of community outreach for the Barilla Group. In addition, the Regina brand will be assigned different colors and pasta shapes, "so as not to offend our more traditional customers."

Among the "fun" Regina shapes are
®checca, which means rainbow in Naples, where these gaily colored ribbons of pasta are traditionally served in a cream sauce on the feast of St. Anale;

®fanook, often confused with commercial farfalle or bow-tie pasta, fanook is a delicate, hand-cut butterfly creation that pairs with light, blush sauces and fruity wines;

®fregna, the delicate, yet sensual petal shape of this elegant and inspiring pasta makes a lesbica want to plant her face in a bowl;

®multo belino is a throbbing, ropey pasta much favored among Italian seamen, who always order this treat with two large meatballs;

®Tarzanello means “tight, little clumps of short, curly hair with bits stuck on them," and these sweaty nests of ribbony noodles certainly live down to that name, especially when you add finely ground bits of pork sausage to the stir. Bottom Line? Suitable for a wide variety of "alternative lifestyles";

®radiatori or "tiny radiators that tickle like a fanook's mustache” in Italian, this small, post-industrial-shaped pasta delivers attitude and adherence in any thick-sauce throw down.
       
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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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