postcards from the pug bus
|Home Ass Hats Celebrities Music U.S. News World Religion Sports Technology Weed Us|
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Cats appear to be prospering despite not being mentioned in the bible. Nevertheless, we have to wonder at their exclusion. If the bible is the inspired word of god— every jot or tittle of which is true— why was god not inspired to give cats a shout in his magnum opus?
After giving the matter fleeting but shallow thought, we offer ten possible explanations for god's sleeping on cats.
1) God is not a cat person
2) Cats do not come when they're called, so they missed the cruise on Noah's ark
3) The bible was "written" by Jews, who hated Egyptians, who worshipped cats
4) God wasn't mentioned in the cats' bible
5) Even god could not give man dominion over cats
6) The bible was "written" by men
7) Ancient Jews considered cats the acceptable white meat
8) Cats wanted script approval
9) Cats have nine lives, god has only three
10) Cats do nothing wrong, so they don't need anybody to die for their sins.