Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
God "Sick and Tired of Being Everybody's Damn Witness" Oct 28, 2013 - 2:01
HEAVEN–The Lord God Almighty has had it up to his Charlton Heston-like brow with people who say "as god is my witness" when they want to underscore a statement or a threat.
"Have you any idea how many times a day some fool who is overwrought, argumentative, drunk, or all three, calls on me to witness on his behalf?"
Without waiting for an answer the Heavenly Father continued.
"I didn't think you did. Just let me say the number is great beyond reckoning, and you wouldn't believe the stupid things people expect me to witness. Kenny Rogers trying to get with some woman, mothers threatening to take away their kids' iPads, guys in bars trying to win a sports argument, everybody and his no-account brother-in-law drags me into the conversation as though we're on a first-name basis and he's got me on speed dial."
Tossing his leonine mane impatiently, the King of Kings declared, "This drek has got to stop."
A legal source close to the Lord God of Hosts says that calling on god to be your witness in a non-faith-related matter is a lesser form of taking the lord's name in vain, "a misdemeanor, not a felony, to be sure," but an actionable matter nonetheless.
"The Boss is not inclined to get involved in human affairs, no matter how badly some people need to think otherwise. He gave folks the universe, the bible, and Google. What more do they expect?"
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.