postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Hillary Clinton blames her election loss on white supremacy
ex-Prince Harry and Whatsherface desperately seeking a nickname
Microsoft introduces new anal font "for assholes with something on their minds"
White women can't jump, either
Ashli Babbitt proved that . . . "bang, you're dead"
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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Christian Baker Doesn't Knead Michelle Duggar's Business
May 29, 2015 - 9:28
When Mr. Duggar went home to roost, however, further embarrassment awaited his family. A local baker refused to make a "Welcome Home Josh" cake for his mother, Michelle Duggar. "As a devout Christian, I just couldn't bring myself to bake a cake for Michelle Duggar, knowing it would be used to celebrate the return of a habitual sex offender into their home," reported Harriet Johnston, owner of "I Knead Thee Every Hour," a bakery specializing in Christian-themed baked goods. "Mrs. Duggar has been a long-time customer, but when she asked me to bake this cake, I held her hand and told her I couldn't do it because of my relationship with Jesus Christ." Mrs. Johnston thought for a moment and added, "This was the first customer I've turned away in thirty-seven years of business. At first, I thought I'd be persecuted for my firmly held religious beliefs and for not complying with the Consumer Protection Act, but the Duggars and Mike Huckabee have championed religious freedom for business owners in Arkansas for years now. Because of them, I knew my Christian beliefs would be protected." Mrs. Duggar was reportedly quite taken aback by the refusal of service from a Christian-owned business. She repeatedly tried to obtain services from other area bakeries, including the local Walmart and Piggly Wiggly, but was continually turned away. "I have nothing against Josh Duggar personally," said Mrs. Johnston. "I have a problem with what this cake would be used for—to welcome him back into the midst of all those children. It's their lifestyle I have problem with. I'll always say that all children deserve a mother and a father—but not ones who would harbor a sex offender in their home." © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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