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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
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  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
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  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday
Dec 13, 2016 - 10:06
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NEW YORK—Black Lives Matter (BLM) has demanded that New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning apologize to Dallas Cowboys black quarterback Dak Prescott for “disrespecting the brother” following the Giants 10-7 home victory over the Cowboys last Sunday. It’s difficult to imagine Eli Manning “disrespecting” anyone, apart from the New England Patriots in two Super Bowls. Mr. Manning is perhaps the most polite, deferential, non-toxically masculine athlete in any sport. Not to put too racial a point on things, there was certainly enough of that going around this election season, but Mr. Manning could not be more white if he glowed in the dark.

The crime for which Mr. Manning’s name is being dragged through the roiling street of black identity politics and resentment is this: he shook the hand of white Dallas quarterback Tony Romo, who did not play in the game last Sunday, before shaking the hand of Mr. Prescott, who did. Is that not an example of flat-out racism—the kind of brutal behavior that black people from the president to the counter girl at Popeyes Chicken—are subjected to every minute in America?

BLM, fresh from backing the wrong candidate in the 2016 election, thinks so, and they are not about to let the matter rest. They vow to disrupt not only the game but also the tailgate party when the Giants play the Detroit Lions at MetLife stadium on Sunday in Rutherford, New Jersey.

“That creepy-ass cracker ain’t going to be playing quarterback until he apologizes to the brother he disrespected,” said BLM co-founder Shaun King, now senior justice writer for the New York Daily News. “We’re not surprised that the election of Donald Trump has emboldened people like Eli Manning to show their true colors.”

Mr. King’s true colors, a fifty-fifty mixture of black and white, obviously allow him to see both sides of this conflict.

Kyle Koster, writing on thebiglead.com, didn’t see a conflict. “More measured observers will note Manning and Romo have been battling for NFC East superiority for over a decade and, during that time, forged a relationship built on mutual respect. Meanwhile, this was only Manning’s second game against rookie Prescott and the Giants quarterback fell into an old habit. Drama enthusiasts will have a different take.

“What probably happened—and this theory is backed up by as much evidence as the drama-filled one&mdadh;is that Nice Guy Eli saw his old buddy Romo and shook his hand. He then continued his tradition of good sportsmanship by shaking another quarterback’s hand. Hell, he probably shook some non-throwing hands on the way off the field. Perhaps someone with a tinfoil hat wants to get to the bottom of those post-game confabs.”

Mr. Manning did not return several requests for a comment, though he did send profuse apologies; but the National Policy Institute’s Richard Spencer, a former football player, sees a darker motive in Sunday’s planned demonstration.

“BLM is still angry because Eli’s brother Peyton was the winning quarterback in Super Bowl 50, despite our being told incessantly by the left-wing press in the run-up to the game that [Carolina Panther quarterback] Cam Newton, the loser in that game, would outplay Peyton [and the Denver Broncos] to become the new, black face of the NFL. Apparently they believed that black quarterbacks matter.”
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