Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
God Says He Never Saw This Election Coming Dec 16, 2016 - 10:16
The Lord God Almighty—King of Kings, Giver of All Gifts, Father of All Fathers, and Keeper of the Most Holy Restroom Key—admitted today that he “never saw this election coming.” Speaking exclusively to Postcards from the Pug Bus as part of his atheist outreach program, The Big Fella shook his leonine head slowly and continued, “I saw Brexit coming, I predicted the immigration mess in Europe, and I’ve called the last six Dancing with the Stars winners and runners up, but Mr. Trump?”
According to Him Who Am, “As everyone else was, I was fooled by the fact that Trump plowed through political correctness like a ninety-year-old, blue-haired Jewish woman plows through a group of people waiting for a bus after jumping the curb in her Chrysler LeBaron.”
No disrespect, Sir, but your team, the IntelligentDesigners, did finish ninth in the twelve-team Wilmington, Delaware, North fantasy football league two years ago.
“OK, OK, I did mess that up. Actually, we might have just as easily been winless were it not for a couple Hail Mary plays. I was too dependent on miracles to win games. That isn't how this league or the world works."
Turning from football, the Lord complained that he has been “kiester-deep” in prayers right now, “what with the election, post-election, football, and Christmas seasons. So I’ve decided to install caller ID and an automated phone menu to handle all future prayers.”
Speaking on condition of anonymity, a high-ranking member of the heavenly host reported that God was "madder than hell" about the increased number of prayers he has been receiving from "God botherers" of late.
"Like God really has time to intervene in the electoral college vote or the next Super Bowl," the official snorted.
Consequently, God will no longer answer prayers directly, an activity that he engaged in "much less frequently than people reported anyway," the official said.
All prayers will now be "answered" by an automated voice machine that will announce, "Thank you for calling the Heavenly Hotline. Because your call is important to us, we have installed the following menu to help facilitate your request. For your protection your call may be monitored. Please listen carefully before making your selection.
"To listen to the menu in Spanish, press 1. In case of genuine emergencies such as fires, catastrophic illnesses, and 'acts of God,' press 2. For divine assistance in locating lost car keys, press 3. For intervention with Microsoft products, including Windows 10, press 4. To request supernatural help for a football team, press our special Hut-1 number."
When asked why God wanted caller ID in addition to the automated answering system, the official replied that God was concerned about stalkers who pray excessively.
"He's gosh darn close, pardon my French, to instituting the kind of policy enforced by many sports talk radio stations, which limit individuals to one call per week and one on weekends," the official revealed.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.