Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes Dec 25, 2020 - 6:30
WEST CHESTER, PA—The Killer Kwanzaa app, offered free through the Black Lives Matter (BLM) website, is suspected of forcing its way onto the tablets, mobile phones, and computers of selected persons who visit the BLM site—whether they want the app or not.
This scorched-app strategy is similar Microsoft’s hyper-aggressive rollout of Windows 10 last year and Apple’s jack-booted “giveaway” of U2’s Songs of Innocence CD two years ago. The Killer Kwanzaa app comes with a twist, however, a stealth version of the app is delivered only to digital devices in selected, high-dollar ZIP codes, while a modified, plain-vanilla version of the app is delivered to intercity ZIPs.
“Brothers and sisters lookin’ for some flash-mob activity can use the pain-vanilla version of the app,” said Kwame Ferguson. “This app also spits out a list of the cheapest barbecue near the meet-up spot.”
The stealth version of the Killer Kwanzaa app is a horse of another color, however—an apocalyptic color that does hi-ho-Silvers on your front lawn. Residents of Grosse Pointe, Michigan, who visited the BLM site reported strange behavior following their visits.
“When I later surfed to GOOP [Gwyneth Paltrow’s “white-style” website], I found all the organic, vegan tapas recipes on the site had been replaced with soul-food recipes,” said one Grosse Pointe resident who wished to remain anonymous.
Additional surprises were in store for persons who visited white nationalist websites after having visited the BLM site.
“What the fuck,” exclaimed one subscriber to The Daily Stormer website, “I land on the site and I see a picture of this black chick wiping her butt with an American flag."
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.