In this blood-of-the-lamb era, Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.
Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.
Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
3. Seat Belts
4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
NEW YORK—Walmart Inc [NYSE: WMT, 116.92, ▲ 0.90 (0.78%)] announced yesterday that it will begin selling CBD-infused dental dams in all its retail outlets by September 25. The move is seen by industry analysts as an attempt to boost dental dam sales—an attempt, if you will, to encourage Walmart customers to put their money where their mouths are.
"Dental dams have traditionally been a 'forgotten' item in big box stores," said industry analyst Martin Lacrosse Sr. of Merrill Lynch. "The addition of trendy flavors like mocha latte to appeal to millennials did not result in the turnover that retailers wanted, so Walmart is obviously banking on the massive appeal of CBD."
That appeal, which has been used to improve sales of everything from peanut butter to shaving cream, is tailored to the millennial lifestyle.
"There are only so many hours in a day," says part-time courier Jared Pitemkin. "If I can make time to have sex, which is a lot easier than making time to blend my CBD smoothie, it's a win-win."
Walmart's CBD-infused dental dams will be available in 250mg, 500mg, and 750mg strengths, in 500- and 1000-milliliter sizes. Additional flavors will include heavenly gash, Cherry Garcia, and pussy.