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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX Fucking News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

SPAM to Introduce Edible Swimwear During Fashion Week
Sep 21, 2019 - 6:06
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NEW YORK—Hormel Foods, makers of Spam, announced yesterday that it has added edible swimwear to the ever-growing catalog of novelty gift items made in the image and likeness of the popular foodstuff. According to Hormel's chief information officer, Gloria Silverman, "SPAM swimwear is the first item in what is expected to be a long line of edible clothing." That line will be introduced during the winter's New York’s Fashion Week shows.

"The current appeal of gluten-free food makes SPAM swimwear a natural for fashion and health conscious Americans,” said Ms. Silverman.

Available in three designer colors—pigskin, mud brown, and hambone—SPAM swimwear is made entirely of pig lips, entrails, connective tissue, and hooves, the same meat by-products found in every can of SPAM.

”We choose only the highest quality by-products for our SPAM swimwear," said Ms. Silverman. "It's just as safe to eat as anything that comes out of one of our cans." In fact, said Ms. Silverman, SPAM swimwear will be packaged in a SPAM lookalike can that is “ideal for use as a jewelry box."

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Industry analysts predicted Hormel stock would rise on the news that the company had found yet another way to generate profits from pig by-products. They also expect edible swimwear to "make a splash" in the $500-million annual revenue stream generated by the sales of SPAM kitsch.

"For SPAM lovers the meat is the message," said Ms. Silverman, "and what better way to package that message than in edible SPAM swimwear?"

If the SPAM swimwear turns out to be a good fit for SPAM faithful, expect to see affinity styles available for sports enthusiasts. In fact, Hormel is presently in discussions with the National Football League, which wants to market team-pride swimwear with logos of NFL teams imprinted on it.

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Expect the J-LO line of SPAW swimwear soon.
In a beta version of the initial ad for this campaign, former Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens reprises a commercial he made nearly fifteen years ago. In that spot Mr. Owens stands facing the camera while Nicollette Sheridan, who is wearing SPAM swimwear, approaches him. As the music of the Eagles fight song, “Fly, Eagles, Fly,” swells in the background, Ms. Sheridan begins tearing off bits of her swimwear and feeding them to Mr. Owens.

In related news, SPAM announced that it is nearing production of a men’s speedo in natural, barbecue, and jalapeno flavors.

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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

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Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it

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