title of web site: postcards from the pug bus
 
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Your 420 Ganjascope©

Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological


Support the Penultimate Day Campaign

Join the Pug Bus in its crusade to have December 30 declared National Penultimate Day. Our goal is to rescue penultimate from the puss-warted clutches of abusers of the language. What's more, we can give that snooty "Auld Lang Syne" business a well-deserved kick in the shorts. For the ultimate—and the penultimate—news about our glorious campaign, click here.


The Grammar Prick

Meaner than a powdery-smelling, dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick


Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this.""


The Fuck It List

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Ten Things You Should Fllip the Bird to Before You Die

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Your Bucket List
  7. Pissing Indoors
  8. Hugging
  9. Stupid-ass Old Fart Hats
10. Going to Bed Early


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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

SPAM to Introduce Edible Swimwear During Fashion Week
Sep 21, 2019 - 6:06
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NEW YORK—Hormel Foods, makers of Spam, announced yesterday that it has added edible swimwear to the ever-growing catalog of novelty gift items made in the image and likeness of the popular foodstuff. According to Hormel's chief information officer, Gloria Silverman, "SPAM swimwear is the first item in what is expected to be a long line of edible clothing." That line will be introduced during the winter's New York’s Fashion Week shows.

"The current appeal of gluten-free food makes SPAM swimwear a natural for fashion and health conscious Americans,” said Ms. Silverman.

Available in three designer colors—pigskin, mud brown, and hambone—SPAM swimwear is made entirely of pig lips, entrails, connective tissue, and hooves, the same meat by-products found in every can of SPAM.

”We choose only the highest quality by-products for our SPAM swimwear," said Ms. Silverman. "It's just as safe to eat as anything that comes out of one of our cans." In fact, said Ms. Silverman, SPAM swimwear will be packaged in a SPAM lookalike can that is “ideal for use as a jewelry box."

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Industry analysts predicted Hormel stock would rise on the news that the company had found yet another way to generate profits from pig by-products. They also expect edible swimwear to "make a splash" in the $500-million annual revenue stream generated by the sales of SPAM kitsch.

"For SPAM lovers the meat is the message," said Ms. Silverman, "and what better way to package that message than in edible SPAM swimwear?"

If the SPAM swimwear turns out to be a good fit for SPAM faithful, expect to see affinity styles available for sports enthusiasts. In fact, Hormel is presently in discussions with the National Football League, which wants to market team-pride swimwear with logos of NFL teams imprinted on it.

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Expect the J-LO line of SPAW swimwear soon.
In a beta version of the initial ad for this campaign, former Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens reprises a commercial he made nearly fifteen years ago. In that spot Mr. Owens stands facing the camera while Nicollette Sheridan, who is wearing SPAM swimwear, approaches him. As the music of the Eagles fight song, “Fly, Eagles, Fly,” swells in the background, Ms. Sheridan begins tearing off bits of her swimwear and feeding them to Mr. Owens.

In related news, SPAM announced that it is nearing production of a men’s speedo in natural, barbecue, and jalapeno flavors.


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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.


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The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Although he no longer self-identifies with the basket of deplorables, our editor in briefs is still considered a basket case—and deplorable—in many precincts. He is determined to outlive that twat Mick Jagger, and he believes, to paraphrase Phish, "You've got one life, blog on!"

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patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .
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Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it


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