Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
3. Seat Belts
4. FOX Fucking News
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Dab Rig Manufacturer Issues Refunds for Kaepernick Model Sep 24, 2019 - 6:06
SAN FRANCISCO—Rigs-R-Us, the nation's leading manufacturer of "smoking enhancement technology for the socially conscious," offered refunds today to any customers who bought a Colin Kaepernick Puffco Peak dab rig that would not start. The Kaepernick model ($399.99 MSRP), was introduced to coincide with the start of the National Football League season three weeks ago. It has been plagued with issues from the jump.
"At first we got complaints that the rig just didn't want to start," said Kenneth Hogan, chief of R&D at Rigs-R-Us. According to Mr. Hogan, "users reported that they almost had to plead with the Kaepernick model to 'get in the game.'"
Mr. Hogan did acknowledge that the Kaepernick was a polarizing player. "For every customer who said the Kaepernick was taking money for nothing, we heard from someone who left a barely coherent message punctuated with shouts of 'fuck the police.'"
Mr. Hogan was keen to point out that the Kaepernick Puffco Peak dab rig is "exquisitely sensitive and designed to function with responsibly sourced, top-shelf product only." Therefore, he cautioned, persons seeking a refund for the Kaepernick Peak will have to provide a copy of the receipt—issued by a legally operating dispensary—for the concentrate they were vaping when the Kaepernick failed to perform.
"You can't put cheap gas in a (Lamborghini) Urus and expect to get a smooth ride," Mr. Hogan concluded. "The Kaepernick is a high-performance rig, and it needs to run on clear, medical grade distillate, not some crude oil that your next door neighbor made in the driveway."
In related news, a spokesman for Duck Donuts® says the company has no plans to recall its popular Heavenly Hash Tag flavor, despite some complaints that the donuts "don't taste like they used to."