Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Hillary Clinton blames her election loss on white supremacy
ex-Prince Harry and Whatsherface desperately seeking a nickname
Microsoft introduces new anal font "for assholes with something on their minds"
White women can't jump, either
Ashli Babbitt proved that . . . "bang, you're dead"
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
burma shave sign with jingle
        
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Ganjascope℠ To Be Featured in Reader's Digest
        Sep 27, 2019 - 6:06
       
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WEST CHESTER, PA—The Readers Digest and Postcards from the Pug Bus will "partner" to bring the GanjaScope℠ to RD's 38,000,000 readers beginning in January next year. In return the Pug Bus will run the occasional NSFW "improved" list of Reader's Digest jokes. The move, which caught many industry analysts by surprise, is part of RDs effort to bring its magazine into the 20th century.

Cancer (6/22 - 7/22): Your DaVinci IQ dating app suggests that you are best suited for the companionship of a significant other bearing a sticker that reads, "Intel Inside." The next time you go looking for love in one of those fee-based places, be sure to check the box that reads, "Same-species partner preferred."

Leo (7/23 - 8/22): After vaping Watermelon Mojito CBD oil that had been laced with synthetic marijuana, you are visited by Hippolitus, the goddess of excess. She informs you that during the next fortnight your boss will recommend you for a lifetime non-achievement award; everything you eat will taste like hospital food; and the admissions committee at the Hot to Trot Bowl-a-rama will turn down your application for executive club membership.

Virgo (8/23 - 9/22): You become obsessed with scanning the bar codes from your dispensary purchases into your computer. Convinced that the lines constitute a treasure map, you begin digging in the back yard, only to discover a horde of missing household objects buried there, including some prescription drugs. When you return to your house, the dog is gone.

       
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Libra (9/23 - 10/23): A panic attack brought on by too much Hell's OG shatter disturbs the electromagnetic resonance in your body. Suddenly traffic lights turn red when you approach them, and you cannot use your cell phone. On the bright side, people around you can't use their cellphones either. Take a bus to the local mall and do some people watching.

Scorpio (10/24 - 11/21): You are close to learning how to harness your psychic powers. You can use them in the service of world peace, the pursuit of a cure for congenital disease, or the acquisition of free cable service. Inhale, then choose wisely. What does it profit a man if he lives in a peaceful or a disease-free world but can't afford all the premium channels?

Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): The new moon rising in the House of Indica puts an eclipse over your life, and the following adjectives wield a disproportionate influence on your affairs: banal, bovine, brainless, dense, thick, doltish, vapid, witless and jackass. Best to keep your powder desiccated until a pristine moon burgeons in the Domicile of Hybrid Strains.

Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19): Despite your agitated pursuit of self-improvement, you are still popping THC-infused gummy bears, and your hair remains your greatest asset. Accept your fate. Settle on a style and color that complement your aura, your inner child, and your budget. Learn to read your hairline and to follow wherever it leads—and ditch the gummy bears.

Aquarius (1/20 - 2/18): Those who cannot predict the future are condemned to trip over it. The best prediction is a self-fulfilling one. You can turn any surprise to your advantage by saying cheerfully, "I knew that was going to happen." If you can't fool everyone, you might as well spark one up and fool yourself.

Pisces (2/19 - 3/20): A bogus Purple Punch Stiiizy pod you buy from a vendor named Chico on the Dark Web leads to several near-life experiences this week. You may be inclined to confuse them with dreams. That would not work to your advantage, especially if you were driving a motor vehicle or operating heavy machinery.

       
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Aries (3/21 - 4/19): You are one of those self-made people who started out with nothing and have most of it left—and who still insist on growing their own. Recently American Express sent you a mock-up of a credit card and a letter that began, "Don't leave home with it." You live each day as if it were going to be your last, then you wake up the next morning disappointed.

Taurus (4/20 - 5/20): After you rent Being John Malkovich, you have dreams in which every door in your house leads to the mind of a different celebrity. You discover that the doors do not lead to the same movie star each time when you try to reenter the Jay-Z door and you wind up in Steve Urkel’s mind instead.

Gemini (5/21 - 6/21): If astrological forecasts were like weather reports, yours would resemble a benign, sunny day on a tropical island: bright, balmy, and with just enough breeze blowing in off the ocean to make your hair sway in grateful appreciation of your good fortune. That's what switching from Sour Diesel to Birthday Cake will do for a person .
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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