postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Words                                      observing                                      social                                      distancing                                      ...

image of an 8 ball Home   Ass Hats   Celebrities   Lifestyle   Music   News   Religion   Sports   Technology   Weed   Our Staff   image of an 8 ball
Search This Site

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of willie nelson smoking weed
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX Fucking News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

image of a gun

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

The Ganjascope℠ Feline Home Companion
Oct 8, 2019 - 6:06
an image
Catmando—the office cat here at the Ganjascope℠, is descended from a race of mythical creatures who are half human, half feline, and half baked. Much of the bumbling accuracy with which the Ganjascope℠ can see into the future darkly is down to the influence of Catmando, whom we often suspect of blowing smoke up our asses. Anyway, this is what Catmando told us to tell you.

Taurus (4/20–5/20): Many Taurans are puzzled by a dream that stars two gorgeous, black Pulik dogs with long dreadlocks. The dogs bark melodically, but when they close their mouths, the barking continues. Such a fab dream suggests that you need to keep your sorry ass away from the Milli Vanilli OG. That shit contains more limonene than your average toilet bowl cleanser.

Gemini (5/21–6/21): After doing a Maureen Dowd with some edibles, you dream that Hilary Clinton arrives at your wedding reception disguised as Beyonce, then slam dances with Jay-Z, who's disguised as R. Kelly. Not surprising, considering the large number of Geminis who have racial or sexual identity problems and who would fuck a pile of rocks if they thought there was a snake or a vote in it.

Cancer (6/22–7/22): That Dank Sour Mango cart you scored puts you at war with your demons, and your demons are winning. Besides, you are no longer on speaking terms with your conscience, and the cardinal virtues just sublet your beach house to the seven deadly sins. Do not change anything more significant than your ring tones until next week. Concentrate on small, manageable issues such as eliminating keyboard plaque or cataloging your CD collection.

Leo (7/23–8/22): You will be followed everywhere this week by agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Why they’re following you is not relevant here. Besides, I suspect you know why, cough cough. Just make sure you don’t do anything incriminating in the presence of two guys in Joe Camel outfits.

Virgo (8/23–9/22): You poke fun at a mime, who replaces your shadow with a copy of his. After several embarrassing lunchtime incidents and a near arrest on obscenity charges, you begin going out only at night. This is a dreadful inconvenience, but it does solve that problem you were having with wet birds. Because you can’t call in sick forever, you must regain control of your shadow. Yoga and meditation are the best solutions, but if your schedule is too crowded, wearing a marijuana patch may help.

an image
Libra (9/23–10/23): One of your two dreams—either the one starring a mysterious woman with a tatoo of a Andalusian horse on her back or the one featuring an Andalusian woman riding a mysterious tattooed horse backward—is a harbinger of disaster. I think it depends on whether the horse or the woman speaks in tongues.

Scorpio (10/24–11/21): You dream that a newly discovered piece of the Zapruder film shown at your surprise birthday party places you on the grassy knoll in Dallas on November 22, 1963, with a gun in your hand. A sorry manifestation of the Scorpio’s conflicting needs for secrecy and celebrity.

Sagittarius (11/22–12/21): Joe Biden arrives at your house for a meeting with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wearing Ray-Bans and a fur coat and driving a 'Vette. Then you notice his white hair has black roots. As Catmando interprets this dream, you’re conflicted about whether Biden is too old to be driving by himself.

Capricorn (12/22–1/19): You say you dream you’re in a football stadium where a 150-piece marching band is singing, "As we live a life of ease/Every one of us has all we need ..."; but you wake up and try as you might you can’t remember the rest of the song? Either you’re stuck in the '60s, day tripper, or soon that stupid song will be stuck in your head.

Aquarius (1/20–2/18): You stop for a hitchhiker, who asks you where you’re going. When you tell him, he bursts out laughing and says, “No thanks, chump.” Obviously you have about as much social standing as Milo Yiannoupolis. I’ll bet Jared the Subway dude was more popular than you were in high school.

Pisces (2/19–3/20): Many Pisces suffer from genus envy: they wish they were some animal other than a human. This condition manifests itself in a dream wherein you are Lassie, confidently greeting visitors to the farm and getting treats from them while the Ruffles, the family cat, is hiding in the shed, rolling in your stash.

Aries (3/21–4/19): Any dream involving the Snoop Dogg, a 22-pound pinata filled with whipped cream, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, and a macarena instructor named Pepe LePew deserves precise scrutiny. Unfortunately, Catmando had the same dream himself the other day, and he’ll be out of the office the rest of the week attending funerals.

More Articles by This Author

Humor Feed Banner
Red Bull Logo

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

Share The
Pug Bus

The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these still-fresh articles and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti smoking a funny cigarette
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Contact Us
image of a beat up, rusty old mailboxSend email to Pug Bus Editor.

Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby
Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it

© Copyright 2019 by