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Your 420 Ganjascope©

Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological

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Join the Pug Bus in its crusade to have December 30 declared National Penultimate Day. Our goal is to rescue penultimate from the puss-warted clutches of abusers of the language. What's more, we can give that snooty "Auld Lang Syne" business a well-deserved kick in the shorts. For the ultimate—and the penultimate—news about our glorious campaign, click here.

The Grammar Prick

Meaner than a powdery-smelling, dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this.""

The Fuck It List

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Ten Things You Should Fllip the Bird to Before You Die

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Your Bucket List
  7. Pissing Indoors
  8. Hugging
  9. Stupid-ass Old Fart Hats
10. Going to Bed Early

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Walmart Stock in the Crosshairs
Aug 19, 2019 - 6:37
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MORGANTOWN, Penna.—Concerns about the value of Wal-Mart stock going forward from the El Paso shootings have decimated company morale, threatened the social fabric of many small communities, and led thousands of Wal-Mart employees to seek other career paths. Although Wal-Mart shares closed at $112.99 on Friday, just 1.8% below their all-time high, many Wal-Mart employees are clearly in a fish-or-cut-bait frame of mind.

"You bet I've been shopping my resume around," said Jason Fennell, 19, a re-stock specialist on the third shift at the Wal-Mart in Morgantown, Pennsylvania. "I'm expecting callbacks from Cracker Barrel, Domino's Pizza, and the Agway store. I can't afford to be associated with a company like Wal-Mart, whose common stock is, like, horrendously overvalued, for crying out loud."

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Celebrating Pantsless Tuesdays at Wal-Mart.
Mr. Fennel's sense of guilt by association—especially given Wal-Mart's defiant announcement that it will continue selling guns and ammo—is common to Wal-Mart employees throughout the country. Like Mr. Fennel, many of them have begun to avoid old friends and familiar social routines. In a rural ex-urb like Morgantown, fifty miles and several turnpike exits west of Philadelphia, that means no Wednesday night card games at the beer distributor's and less time spent at the fire company.

"I haven't been to beef-and-beer nights down at the fire hall for weeks," Mr. Fennel confided, sipping on a 24-ounce, CBD-infused Monster Zero. "My buddies who work for the Target in Exton were raggin' me pretty bad about the stock situation at Wal-Mart. Hell, even some dweeb in the management training program at Denny's was giving me grief because he's got more attractive stock options than I have. It was starting to get depressing. People who worked at Wal-Mart were the nearest thing to rock stars around here. Now we're social outcasts."

Wal-Mart officials are aware of the talent drain caused by the company's uncertain profit forecast. The more progressive stores in the Wal-Mart chain are seeking ways to deal with the negative effects of these issues.

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Are you sure that's where babies come from, Mom?
"We've hired the grief counselor from Twin Valley high school to come in on weekends and talk to our people," said Tim Luckenbill, second associate manager of the Morgantown Wal-Mart. "We have to approach this situation proactively because some analysts think our stock could screw the pooch."

Although many people in the Morgantown area have begun to look on Wal-Mart as a dead-end career option, a few risk takers see the company's difficulties as an opportunity in disguise. Rip Derringer is one of them. Mr. Derringer, 22, recently left a position as executive fry cook at the Windmill restaurant to work on the loading dock at Wal-Mart.

"Wal-Mart's shares are still trading at about eighteen times 2006 earnings estimates," said Mr. Derringer. "That's a 20 percent discount to Wal-Mart's historical valuation. You'd be a fool not to load up on that buffet. Sure, there's a little headline risk right now, but I can live with it."

In other news, Wal-Mart has vigorously denied that its plans for opening several outlets in India are part of a cover operation designed to mask the eventual outsourcing of its complaints department to that country.

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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

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The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Although he no longer self-identifies with the basket of deplorables, our editor in briefs is still considered a basket case—and deplorable—in many precincts. He is determined to outlive that twat Mick Jagger, and he believes, to paraphrase Phish, "You've got one life, blog on!"

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Norton Internet Security Won't Let Customers Uninstall

Taylor Swift Plans Chain of Anal Bleaching Salons

Pippa Middleton's Ass Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .
The Pug Bus Interview
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What Would Nietzsche Do?
photo of Friedrich NietzscheForget Jesus H. Christ. Who, besides Carson Wentz, cares what Jesus would do? To survive in a postmodern word, ask yourself instead What would Nietzsche do?.
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Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it

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